sad that this site is closing, it was fun while it lasted. Im still waiting to hear from the apartment of my dreams. and if I get in Im gona do a few things to update my life. Thanks for the good advice and kind words. I'll probably do a couple more blogs before the 29th.

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 I was reading In my rental contract that If I get accepted I get put on a waiting list. It doesn't mean I'll get an apartment. which really sucks. Honestly I don't want to be put on a waiting list. If Iam approved they should just let me have an apartment. It's not like I have forever to wait. I also need a place to live by december. And I hate to have to go back to the crummy place I saw before. were there was a serious lack of security and the mail was In a unsafe area. were anyone had access to It.

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I think my self destructive behavior is eating too much food (now I do when before I didn't. it's like im never full.), not listening to good advice (sometimes), driving too much (which mean Im always at the gas pump and I don't really need to be), and not spending my money wisely. Im starting to be honest about it. cause i do want to get better in these areas.

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I turned in my rental application. They have to do a credit check and another form has to be filled out. They won't let me know (whether I got approved) until next week. Until then Iam all excited and nervous. Can't wait to know whether I got the apartment...means no more sharing with roomate. I want to move in this month just so I can get it over with already. I wish they would call this week.

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1. I lost the key to the place Im sharing. so I made a copy and have been using that one.

2.  I can't stand one of my classmates. And want to choke her neck like a chicken.

3. There was time I have felt great pain in my life and didn't mention it to anyone.

4. This Is the best site for s.a online. Im sure there's others but I like this one the most. And I haven't mentioned that to anyone outside of the internet. 

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I found a great apartment In a great building. Also got a tour of the place and the building (which is perrrrfect). now i have to fill out the application form. which is like 15 pages long. They ask a lot of questions and request a lot of information. Iam so nervous. I cant wait to move In. The place is so cute and very clean. I got help with understanding what's being asked within the application form, thank god.

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1. got to see some apartments. there was this one were the manager couldn't be found. were the person went, who knows. but at some point that person has to show up for questions. questions like, how much is this and that. when can i move in etc.

2. i just want to find the place im meant to live in and be done with it already. the searching, i want it over with. i just want to move in. and i will, when ever i find the place.

3. hope other apartment hunters are out there find what there looking for.

4. there was this one apartment though. the mail was just left in a box. and i guess people had to just search for their mail. which to me is messed up.  

5. another place needed better locks on their doors. that way people can't just walk in from off the street.

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1. im down to looking at a couple of apartments. tomorrow im gona fill out some apllications for a couple. im scared and nervous.

2. i bought some make-up to feel a little better.

3. im trying to figure out why do i always worry about my looks.

and thanks for the comments to those who left a few on my blogs. made me feel like im not alone. that life can get better.

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1. I wish my moods were just one emotion. like happy all the time no matter what. and im embarrassed to say that it's not, im not like that in mood. like tonight. for some reason i feel low.

2. and i was thinking about why don't i have more friends with were i live or at class. why don't i have a boyfriend currently. questions i want answers to. i don't feel satisfied with my life and iam tired of it. now i just want to find out what can i do to make it better. make my moods better..

3. i wont need assisted living. thank god.

4. in the back of my mind i always felt abandoned in my life. the one no one cares about, forgets that's there, forgets that iam a person with a heart and feelings just like everyone else.

5. you know what i hate. those moods that make me feel suicidal. but i wouldn't carry it out  
though. just think about it.

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