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Viewing 1 - 9 out of 19 Blogs.
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Posted On 12/10/2007 10:19:51
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HI everybody, this is Sully's wife Sully is in a long term treatment center He is doing well and has completed the first 90 days phase 1. He is now going into phase 2 and is doing better with his depression. please keep him in your prayers.. and God Bless all of you. I know each hour of every day is a struggle for you also.. Love, Sully's wife.
1st off,sorry its been so long,i havent had much interest lately in much of anything...im still not drinkin,so atleast i havent let any more trouble in my life. i cant go into detail,only to say my heart is broke,crushed,,,ive never felt pain in my soul as this.all i can say is everything i ever wanted was in "IT"...it was my fairytale dream come true...and i realize its unrealistic to try and harness "IT" because "IT" is a free spirit... ...this doesnt even make sense to try and explain...becuz i cant give "IT" a name,so i guess this blog is for me ...lol
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Posted On 07/30/2007 08:09:24
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Thanks for checking up...i have let some past vices bring me down lately,but im trying to get back on track.Alcohal doesnt mix with efexor ,an anti-depressant,and i played the village idiot,sayin"what he prescribed dont work,and i know what does,,,but dammit it doesnt...well,,,,for a while,that night maybe,but i think you know what im saying,it just dont work...and i know that,,,so why the hell do i keep goin back? i dunno bro...but i wanted to be honest,,,i guess when i hole up,i hole up from everything and every one...there are a feww ppl in my life that actually give a poo.... see better in me,because they know me,but on the internet,,,,you are the only one...so thank you for checking on me,because it makes me give myself, a headcheck...get back to a base,and build from there.
and....i hope all is good with YOU!! TJ
just want to say hi to all after a long pause...ive been put on effexor now,so if anyone can tell me thier experience with it,i would be grateful...he also prescribed me valium to sleep,since all the others have failed thru the past year... I didnt forget about you all,i hope you all are doing well,ive just really been in a rock and a hard place...i should have probably been writing on here,but my anger and procrastination have been so bad that i havent even done the little things like mow the lawn,etc etc...ive been working,but when it comes to anything else,it just seems to weigh down on me...yet at work,digging,and doing labor ,i love it,it seems to be a good way to vent... again i hope all is well with all my friends on here...
I just wanted to post this ,i thought it was really neat... Paranoid
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges. Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners." Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow. Antisocial
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others. Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met. Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative. Narcissistic
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them. Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence. Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed. Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.
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Posted On 07/03/2007 10:44:12
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Fear of failure
People procrastinate because of fear. They fear they?ll fall short because they don?t have the prior experience of completing the task. They get overwhelmed and they?re afraid they?ll look stupid. They would rather be seen lacking in effort than lacking in ability. here ive done construction all my life,since 14,,,framing,bricklaying,roofing,etc...i could,with the money,build my own house,,,yet i use other peoples accomplishments to judge where i should be at my age in life...financially,spiritually,and etc...i cant wait to be happy in my own skin!!!
The Paradox Of Our Age We have bigger houses but smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicines but less healthiness. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble in crossing the street to meet our new neighbour. We built more computers to hold more copies than ever, But have less real communication; We have become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are times of fast foods but slow digestion; Tall mean but short characters; Steep profits but shallow relationships. It’s a time when there is much in the window But nothing in the room. &nb sp; &nb sp; His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama.
Hi all.Hope all are doing well,and those who arent,hang in there,dont give up.I have been runnin so much this summer,and so much is happinning,thaT i have kinda neglected the web,so dont hold it against me,lol... I just put my daughter to sleep,shes my youngest,9,and she a thinker like me.My boys seem to be like alot of my Ciresi cousins,they just roll with life,almost like thier destiny is allready etched out for them,and they are just following the invisible arrows in front of them,but i wasnt,{although it does seem to be a too perfect fitting puzzle thru the years,but unlike them,i ask why,and who,and what if,waaay to much,overanalyze,whereas they do not...} so my point,i explained to her abit about the stars she asked about in the sky,and i explained how the earth rotates the sun,and not long ago the entire world believed the earth was flat,and such,and i love that look her her face when i see shes really thinkin,but man,,,for 9 yrs old she really gets deep!!! Not something i was thinkin aBOUT AT 9 !!! bUT i really got stumped!!! Because she was explaining how "well,heaven is at the very top,and i guess then the stars,and then the devil and hell below,"...then she says,"and it makes sense,cuz the ground,you know,and the devil,would be down there...",and im thinkin,SHIT!!! My daughter is etchin out a map of her surroundings,like i used to on some of those nights lookin up...but religion really makes it difficult for me to explain alot.I tried to explain to her,"well ,what if like,they are explaining in the bible,in a way that ppl back then could understand,like its maybe not really heaven "UP THERE" or hell ,literally "BELOW our very feet"...{{ does anyone out there in SA land see my frikken delima yet?,damn!}}}}and i could tell even THAT went against every got dang thing she has grasped yet to this day... Its wierd,she is like my jewel in 36 years,and seems so fragile sometimes,im scared poo.... thinkin of the what ifs...im allready finding myself at night thinking about how i can survive her teen years because any boy like i was(i wasnt bad,bad,but i was a roamer and wild,read paST blogs,}i am going to run him away like a bad dream! I guess it doesnt help to have a 20 yr old in college,had him when i was 15,so yea,hes on the rough side,grew up really rough,and im not as tight on him as i am with rules,his adopted mother does all that.she is an absolutely angel from heaven,,,she is black,and that dont matter 1 bit, im sayin that since the age of 9 he grew up down 16th aND mahummad ali a very rough part of town,and i have the other three that were planned,,,,shit that sounds bad,but ,i mean ,i was growin up ,it was a different situation,i admit my wrongs of my past,and am striving to make his life as normal as possible,but i couldnt do at 15 16 yrs old,as good as i can now with these young ones,(God i hope there are older ppl readin this,and understand,i feel like im typin a hole,and jumpin in it! you guys are gonna write back and flame me like im downplayin my oldest!) ,,,ok off the guilt trip...im jst saying i want to be careful what i put in these young ones heads when they ask the tough questions every man and woman ask as they reach for an adult to confirm thier beliefs,,,,,,i dont know if i want my daughter to grow up believin the :FIRE and BRIMSTONE 4 ever burn in Hell if yer bad,,the Devil is awaiting if you dont follow ten rules of God,,Like i did 1st thru 8th grade in a Catholic school(St Therese by Beargrass Creek Lou Ky)...and God help us if we ever even thought of respecting works by Buddah,Allah,The American Indians """GREAT SPIRIT IN THE SKY""" if anyone has ever read proverbs in the bible,it is great!!! but i also respect the "SAVAGES" who left traces all thru my state,on the farm when i was a kid,most ppl in this state growin up,have a taste of faRM LIFE,outside of Louisville,its all farms, cattle,horse farms,corn etc...and growin up every one had someone in the family or a friend or what ever on the outskirts of this city,and its all Hank Jr land!!!! lol...but i used to find aRROWheads by the dozen from the tractors tillin up ground,and all these indian artifacts poppin up for the 1st time in hundreds of years,and unlike the "nonthinkers"i described above in my family,i would hold the arrow head alittle longer,and really THINK! grazing its edges with my fingers...of course,then growin up and throwin bonfire paRTies on the same land,jammin,and partyin with 50 other ppl as i hit my teen yrs up to 20...lol...Did i get off track???lmao,sorry,im just really deep tonight.I just want them to know theres something ,a creator who made them,and i am graspin for straws myself,so its hard to know what to tell them,ya know???( now as i say "Ya Know?::: you all are totally quiet,and only crickets can be heard,lol...""This guy is lost""...lol) I want them to respect everyone who deserves it,regardless of creed,race,and yes you all,RELIGION!!! There i said it... Something ill never say in public,unless imin California!...Only place ive live that where if you go against the grain,your not anoutkast...noone cares what you believe out there,lol...you do not Find A church on every street corner in Cali...not that thats a good thing,im just sayin that you can kinda forge ahead there against a religious grain,without as much repercussion...Most ppl the vast majority here,if you say anything form a native american belief,or islamic belief,or buddist belief,anything other than Jesus himself,you are a evil prick...probably why THERE ARE NO GOTDAMN INDIANS LEFT ON THIS CONTINENT!!!LOL...(cept its not funny really)...eww.. Ok i switched tracks,see if u can keep up,cuz i do have a question i want feedback from,,,Am i wrong? (on religion)should i smack the bible and tell em dont believe in evolution,which i personally do,(which i know)and tell em a guy names Adam ate an apple,and psycically threw a rib bone out of my body to make Woman,and the Devil as a snake,talked me into eatin a apple,and all that???...and ,if yes,,,are all the indians i sought knowledge from as akid,are they in that "UNdergorund bunker of Fire and brimstone because precious white man didnt get to this country till 200 or so yrs ago,and couldnt "SAve them",so even tho they were good ppl,(not all,bad eggs lie in each culture,look in prison in any country,in any time period in the exhistance of man,,)but they went to hell for not knowing Juses? or if you askk the muslims,because they didnt follow Allah,or ETC ETC ETC... Love you all...hope all of you are atleast content,and have all you need for basic happiness!!! LOVE!!! T Ciresi
ok i really am tired but here goes...My stepson,the 16 yr old,his dad just got 22 yrs in prison,for drunk driving down bardstown road and killed a kid 24 yrs old...the kids wife was behind her husband,and came upon the scene,she was pregnant and they just got married,i can see thier anger and pain...but this larry guy that did the Carroltin bus crash,and killed like 16 school kids on a bus,hes allready out,did like 10 yrs,and is in freedom today. Also when i was a kid here in Louisville,these two guys,they kidnapped and raped two st.X school boys,and did really bad things to them. I still remember and i was like 9 or 10 when it happened.It was just all over the papers,those guys are out,after doing like 20 yrs. There needs to be harsh punishment,but i just dont understand how different crimes outweigh others when thier less violent.
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