This is something that I posted on my livejournal a few weeks ago. I thought I'd repost it here.
Started reading a book about social anxiety. Apparently most people with social anxiety have it mainly due to fear of rejection and not feeling good enough. I do not feel these ways. I don't feel that people WOULD reject me. So reading this book has kinda left me feeling even more alone because it makes me wonder where the hell my social anxiety comes from then. As a child though I guess I did have fear of rejection and feelings of not being good enough. I guess maybe that is the reason? I had these feelings I guess because I was teased about being chubby and about being Mexican so I always felt different. The teasing wasnt extreme or anything really but I don't know, it seems like that is the only thing that it could be. In my elementary school years I was a pretty happy kid though... which is when the teasing took place... When I started feeling like poo and started being even more introverted was in middle school. I ended up switching to a private school for 9th grade due to my social anxiety of the public school. The private school made it even worse and this is when I started pretty much not talking to anybody at all. Everybody there was extremely nice actually but I just felt so out of place. After that I switched to homeschooling which I guess was the wrong thing because ever since then which was many years ago I have been spending most of my time alone.
