Viewing 1 - 9 out of 10 Blogs.

Page:  1 | 2 | Next >  Last >>

Really depressed

I wake up early at 8 am and go out to walk to fight depression

If I dont go out early and stayed at home I get severe fear and I feel my heart beats getting faster and faster and I really feel terrible

If somebody tells me search for a new job I get the same fear and I feel a bad feeling that I couldn't stop

About having friends:I left all my friends because I feel that I can't talk with them and they sometimes make fun of me which makes me feel terrible

About my work now:It is going from bad to worse,I can't work all the work times and I sometimes stay in bed for hours

At work I stay putting my face towards the ground and I stay ashamed of myself

My family think that my present work is nothing and that I should search for another job I know this is true but I can't because fear stops me from doing anything

I think I should visit a psychiatric again but I am really afraid, I am really afraid that he dont take my problems seriously and that he won't understand me and he will tell me go and live ur life and don't be sensitive

I sometimes think that the only solution for me is to die but I really can't do it and I sometimes ask god to end my life

Today I am really thinking seriously about about SAD I am really afraid if it is more simpler than what I think and if I am faking I am ill

That thinking is all due to my familly,My familly tells me that what I have and how I feel and all that fear sensations are just an easy thing to go and they think that it is easy thing for me to go and search for a new job

They sometimes think that I am a spoilt person who dont want to work harder

I am really confused

Sorry that I didn't post anything from long ago but really the same boring lonely life

Today I cant get out of home and this is not my first time to feel this I feel so depressed and sad I have fears too No one know how I feel or what is inside me. If I told anybody that I am at home he will think that I am a lazy person who doesnt care for his work

I feel hopeless,I feel destructed I feel that staying at home is a scream that will help me I dont know how but this is how I feel now

I feel in this period that I am losing many things that I gained

But how do u think a person who is lonely for years and didnt have any fun for years can work and produce and have a motive

I dont know am I turning myself down, am I trying to destroy myself

I feel I am fighting wth no result

I always used to tell myself be patient,be patient, everything will be better but nothing changes

 

I wish to know real love
I wish to have somebody cares for me
I wish to be easy with small problems
I wish to stop rude people from talking to me rudely
I wish to be successful
I wish others accept me as I am and not try to change me
I wish others not treat me as inferior
I wish I couldn't be so afraid of the coming future

Today I feel really sick. It is still about things I said yesterday. When I got from bed I was really depressed I didn't want to get out of home during I was preparing to wear my clothes I turned the lights off and I got into bed again. I was in a very bad state I didn't know what to do, I stayed in bed for about 5 minutes then I got off and wared my clothes and got out. I am really having terrible days , still feeling isolated from others, still feeling lonely still feeling as if knives are cutting my heart, still sad for no reason

How could SA lead to changes in our life progress

It is a case of small tiny changes that lead to severe deviations in our life progress and ways of thinking U may feel at a moment that u are in a dream ,a nightmare , a bad nightmare for accuracy u feel u are not living ur life u feel that u are replaced in life as if u are put in a place of another person and u should behave as him and u have no other choices ,u feel trapped , u search for help but u cant get it u try to help yourself and u do as your powers gives you.Dont forget that you are at a point where already ur powers are exhausted as a car that ran out of fuel and everyone expects it to run on 130 km/hour really I want to say that really sucks

I need help immediatly

But nobody helps me

Mylife is a meisery, My life is a headace to me

I rotate in circles

Not knowing what to do

Not knowing what to make

Sometimes I can't breath at all

due to my unknown fears

Although I know nothing to fear

I wrote this from about 5 months and I just wanted to share it with u

Yesterday was my birthday I passed it in my bedroom listening to music nothing else I really was so lonely I wish I could have found a friend to go out with but I didn't , I only could go out with myself but I felt it will be worthless and that what I will see is people that are enjoying there summer time so I decided to stay in home it was really boring and depressive

Today when I became online I found many messages send to me saying to me happy birthday that really made me feel better and made me feel that I have friends so thanks for everyone said to me happy birthday

After things gone bad & I became so nervous I tried to go to a psychiatrist

I choose a psychiatric by random & when I went there he asked me what's my problem I tolled him SA as I was diagnosed before and fear and not working

Then he asked me how I pass my day so I tolled him about it

Watching TV in the morning computer in the evening then going to the café at night to sit with my friends & not talk to them just sit there .

Then he tolled me that my life is a mess & horrible & that I am a lazy bad person

I was angry about that I never went there again because in that time I don't need a person to turn me down because he don't understand .

I wish I can live in a world that understand what SA is .

Page:  1 | 2 | Next >  Last >>