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I came across a thought provoking article on one of my favorite sites to go to for news and opinion pieces, salon.com. The article entitled, Is race dying?, addresses the changes that have taken place in the United States with respect to racial issues. It focuses mainly on the reported apparent changes in beliefs among many black Americans about the 'black' racial category.

Since taking cultural anthropology in college, I've come to firmly believe that mainstream notions of the concept of race are illogical, divisive, oppressive, and have no real scientific basis. I can't really speak for non-Americans, but I was born and raised in the U.S. so what I do know is that the terms black, white, Asian (formerly Oriental, but don't get me started on that), and Hispanic (or more often used, Spanish/Latino) are commonly used by people to describe themselves as well as other people. I often refer to myself as Asian mostly because from my experience, that is how most people perceive me. But when asked specifically about my ethnicity I always acknowledge that I'm 'half' Filipino and 'half' Irish.

I can identify with many people of 100% Asian descent because of negative attitudes towards me or offensive stereotypes I have dealt with because of my appearance. But categorizing myself as Asian really means nothing else to me, and I'm not sure if other people realize that. And, I am not trying to distance myself from other people, I'm just trying to point out that these words that are used (usually without thinking about what they actually mean) are really shortcuts. In the introduction to Kip Fulbeck's book Part Asian 100% Hapa, Fulbeck writes "Our country is lazy. And I'm not talking about obesity levels...We're uncomfortable with people who don't fit neatly into boxes because when they don't do so it requires effort on our part...Compartmentalization is easy, even inviting".

The article also touches on the influence that mixed-race people are having on concepts of racial identity because many refuse to place themselves in traditional racial categories. When filling out any sort of application that asks me to check a box to indicate my race, I usually skip it altogether, and sometimes will choose 'other'. I feel that it is quite often where I feel like I have to explain myself or get irritated with others because of either their ignorant comments or rigid thinking. I simply do not want to get into a discussion about this topic every time something regarding it comes up. It's annoying. It's tiring. And people don't always get it or don't even care to explore it. So I usually let it go. But now I'm tired of writing about it, but if you're interested in reading the article, here's a link: http://www.salon.com/opinion/kamiya/2007/11/27/race/index.html

http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Cat-Lady-Action-Figure/dp/B0006GKJ7C/ref=pd_sbs_t?ie=UTF8&qid =1197519250&sr=8-1

why are some people so dense? i guess that's judgmental of me to say. i wish i was more patient but there are certain things i feel like i shouldn't have to explain and i feel like i always have to explain them. then after i do, people don't understand or they disagree with me, leaving me frustrated and annoyed. i don't think it's because of needing to be right. (i realize, at times, that is a problem for me,  but i don't see this as one of those times) it's when i actually am sure of something but other people can't relate to it and i end up doubting myself and feeling so alone.

The recent events I've been reading about in the news like the water shortages in different parts of the U.S. and the California wildfires have motivated me to write about the following topic. I hope you read all the way through even if it doesn't interest you. 

I've been interested in environmentalism since I was a little girl when I got this book called 50 Simple Things Kids Can Do to Save the Earth. There were little things that I learned to do and I incorporated them into my life and have become habitual for me like recycling, shutting off lights in unoccupied rooms, and not letting the water run while I brush my teeth. As I got older I still had an interest in environmental conservation but I was concerned with other things and didn't focus much on that. In recent years, environmental concerns have become much more popular especially with the release of Al Gore's documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. I have also noticed many television specials that discuss global warming and other environmental issues. Still with all the attention that this topic has received, I have serious doubts that it has made much of an impact on how people live their lives. Some people don't even believe in global warming, other people live such busy lives that it's hard to find the time to make changes they feel might inconvenience them or might be too pricey. Even if you don't believe that global warming is a problem, there are other reasons why I think you should be concerned. For one, the human population is growing fast. The problem with that is with such a large human population is that there won't be enough natural resources to go around. Things we often take for granted like clean drinking water will be scarce. By making certain changes to your life that may benefit the environment, you may also be supporting your personal health and saving money. Buying locally grown food is preferable because it takes less energy to transport it and it is also fresher which means it has retained more nutrients than food that has been shipped over a longer distance. I was at Trader Joe's the other day and I noticed that they were selling bags of organic apples from New Zealand. Now I live in New York, what is the sense in importing apples from the other side of the world when I can get the same fruit but grown in a local orchard?

So, I just want to encourage everyone who reads this and let you know that you can make small changes in your life without disrupting your current lifestyle such as changing to compact fluorescent bulbs, taking shorter showers and installing a low flow showerhead, shopping at farmers' markets, turning off and unplugging appliances that are not being used, using a reusable canvas bag when you go shopping for just a few times, consider buying items secondhand, etc. There is lots of information on the internet and many books that include other things you can do. Even just doing a few things differently makes a difference, but of course the more you do, the better off we'll all be.

Will it ever end? I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. My youth is being squandered because of these stupid mental illnesses. I kept things to myself for such a long time and now it has stopped me completely from living my life. I was always afraid of burdening other people with my crap and I never thought anyone really cared anyway. But I can't do that anymore, it has all caught up with me. I've always been a very emotional person, but I never really learned how to talk about what bothers me. I often would express myself by lashing out at other people or crying. Family just assumed that's how I was and didn't really stop to think that I might need help but didn't know how to ask for it. I drove a lot of people away. At 23, I'm just learning how to be honest with myself and other people and how to identify and verbalize my feelings and thoughts. I struggle with just reaching out to other people because I always assume that no one wants to hear what I have to say, that no one will understand, and because I get so frustrated just finding the right words to describe what I'm going through. Just writing this blog entry takes a lot of thought. I want to have a life. I feel like all I've known is unhappiness so it is difficult to imagine that things could be different. Friends? What's that? A social life? Can you define that? These things are so foreign to me.

Ah...the start of a new week. Today was all right, tried to be somewhat productive. I actually cooked dinner, can't remember the last time I did that. I've been extremely idle these past few months, just going to this treatment program five days a week for a few hours each day. I come home at about 2 in the afternoon and half the time I go to bed for the rest of the day and the other half I try to do something, anything.

I'm so sick of caring about what everyone thinks about me and avoiding social interactions so as to not experience rejection. Because I've been living this way for so long, I've sacrificed having any kind of a social life. I am going to be 23 very soon and I really feel I shouldn't be spending my Friday and Saturday nights in front of a computer. I hardly went out during my college years and now I want to make the most of my twenties. But I can't let go of those self-deprecating thoughts and I feel like everyone sees me as nothing but a loser. It's just so hard for me to believe that after someone spends time with me that they don't have a negative opinion of me. I can't get past the self-loathing enough to be able to really put myself out there. I would feel so awful if I spent the rest of my youthful days like this.