I am a survivor of premature birth so I spend a lot of time feeling alien and dealing with annihilation panic.  I feel that I really  need that 10 weeks I missed out on being inside the womb.  Although I probably  had a lot of anxiety while I was in the womb given that my mother had an incompetent cervex.  Sometimes when I get really scared I wish that I could be in the womb of a mother who could hold me to term. 

Just to clarify  this    is  the wish of my inner  infant not my adult.  I know that my anxiety would be considerably less if I was carried to term.

Not really sure why I'm writing this.  I guess maybe just so people can understand me better.