Let's see how clearly I can vent this...

Lance and his girlfriend came back to the house after PR the other night; it was him, me, her, my sister, and my friend Melissa.  So we're sitting in the parlor, and Christine just sort of sits in her chair and says nothing.  Now, she was surrounded by people she didn't know, but who all knew each other, so I could understand why that would be awkward for her, but I felt really awful because my social anxiety makes it hard for me to engage with new people, too, and I wasn't quite sure what to say to draw her in to the conversation (I kept sort of hoping that Lance would do that, himself).

Anyway, when she leaves to excuse herself to the bathroom, Melissa remarks that maybe Christine is tired (it was past midnight) because she was so quiet, which is when Lance tells us that Christine has Social Anxiety Disorder.  Which, in a way, made me feel even worse; hers is clearly more severe than mine (not by a hell of a lot, but by a signifigant enough margin), and I started thinking that I probably should have read the signs earlier (when we'd gone out to dinner a couple of weeks previous, I don't think either of us looked at the other once, lol; we've clearly both got the same issues with eye contact). 

But anyway, now that I know it's more than a simple case of her being shy, I'm even more anxious about trying to engage her in conversation - I'm afriad it'll make her feel more put on the spot, or "on stage" - but likewise, I hate "ignoring" her - which I already feel like I'm doing on some level because of my own SA, and which I feel may be playing more into her being quiet, because she feels like I'm avoiding her - does any of this make sense?  Ugh.

I guess what I'm saying is, short of announcing, "HAI I HAVE SA TOO LOLOLOL!!!!1!" how do I develop any sort of rapport with her?  Is this what face-to-face interaction between two SA people is doomed to be - an endless game of avoidance?

(PS:  There really needs to be more Mood options available, fer realz.)