I feel horrible, the worst I've ever felt. I don't even really know what's going on.

I tell myself it's because of this or that, but I know that it hasn't got that much to do with reality. Reality is a different sort of place. In reality things are never so extreme, never as bad as they seem.

In my mind things can be bad, just absolutely totally black.

I moved into a new apartment a month ago, without realizing that the neighborhood is quite sketchy. But who cares, right? I'm only there for 11 more months, the apartment is decent, the area is fairly close to my school. My next-door neighbor, as well as the people above me, seem to be decent people. Sure there are idiots and weirdos all over my street, but I don't need to pay attention to them.

I'm falling into a slump. It's like a feedback loop: I don't take care of myself, I don't eat properly or exercise, I don't allow myself to have fun, and so I get really unhappy and only focus on the negative in life. There's negative and positive.

There's more than one perspective. The perspective changes how you see everything. And yet it hasn't got much to do with your circumstances, but a lot to do with your mental state.

Before I moved I also felt like crap, but there wasn't any shape to it, I didn't associate it with my circumstances, I just felt this horrible sense of dread/fear/stress, combined with shame, guilt, self-hate, etc.

I feel so sad and stressed out that I just want to cry. I wish I would let myself :(

I feel so lonely and alienated now. I need friends, I need to trust someone.