I just finished reading a book from Joyce Moyer, “The Battlefield of the Mind”.  In this book, she made a comparison that having Social Anxiety was in the same family as having a “Wilderness” mentality.  In the book, a person with a “wilderness” mentality was someone who excluded a part of themselves from the rest of the world, similar to a person going to the wilderness to get away from civilization.  She identified ten sayings that people with “wilderness” mentalities tend to say.  I, myself, was able to identify with all of them in my struggles with Social Anxiety.

·         “My future is determined by my past and my present.”  Where you are at this very second is the culmination of all of the decisions, good and bad, that have been made in your life.  But, tomorrow is a new day.  People that tend to live in the past or try to correct the past never see the future coming until it is too late.

·         “I don’t want the responsibility.”  I think about Morgan Freeman in “Bruce Almighty” when he said, “If you want miracles to happen in your life, be the miracle.”  But, a lot of people don’t want to take the responsibility to do what it takes to improve them.  As a result, a lot of people tend not to want to “rock the boat.”  But, in order to move forward in life, you have to take risk, which means taking responsibility.  You may not have been the one responsible for putting you in this mess called Social Anxiety, but you need to take responsibility to get rid of Social Anxiety.

·         “I can’t take it if things are too hard!”  Billy Ocean said it best, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”  Some people try to get out of the Social Anxiety hole.  But, it does get more difficult as you keep climbing out.  But, you have to have motivation and perseverance to keep on moving.  If you give up, not only do you fall back to where you were, but you create an even bigger hole for yourself.

·         “I can’t help it – I’m just addicted.”  Sometimes, alcohol, drugs, or other psychological addictions keep us from seeking the help we need to overcome.  One of the reasons I have been in chat less is because I came to the realization that I was become addicted to chat, and so I have been coming in less often.

·         “Don’t make me wait – I want it now!”  Some people want Social Anxiety over with now, if there were only a magic pill.  I will tell you right now, for me, it has been a slowly evolving process.  It started over a year ago seeing a psychologist.  I have also been in group therapy sessions as well.  I have been doing a lot better and making some progress.

·         “It’s not my fault!”  The blame game has been going on since Adam blamed Eve for giving him the apple to eat.  In reality, it may not be your fault that you have Social Anxiety.  But, it is your fault if you don’t attempt to do something about it.  Like Yogi Berra says, “If you see a fork in the road, take it!”  Just don’t remain standing at the fork, choose a direction and go.

·         “My life is so miserable.”  I love pity parties.  Everybody’s life is miserable at one time or another.  Life can’t be up all of the time.  If you are in a downturn in your life, remember this, there are billions of people on this planet right now that cannot even read this blog because they don’t have a computer.  Billions of people live in far worse conditions than you or I.  Your and my misery is another person’s dream.

·         “I don’t deserve God’s blessings.”  Now I can bring in the Wayne’s World quote “We’re not worthy!  We’re not worthy!”  Some of us feel like we have made so many mistakes and have botched up our life so bad, there is no one we can even turn to, not even God.  The whole idea of blessings or support is that it is offered and given even when you don’t want it.

·         “Why shouldn’t I be jealous?”  This was my core issue complaint with Social Anxiety.  My sister was raised by my father, and he didn’t want to have a son.  My other sister is now captain of the high school cheerleading squad, the queen of society in the town she lives, and here I sit alone in my home office typing up a blog.  I remember when I lived in Kansas City, I would look out my suicide doors (they were called suicide doors because they were patio doors that if you opened them up and walked out them, you would fall one story to the asphalt below) and see my neighbor across the street going to work, and I often wondered where I went wrong, and how lucky he was.  Why was I dealt the hand I was dealt, and others have an easier road?  Well, one reason is that I could write about it later for others to read and provide help to them.

·         “I’m doing it my way!”  The late Frank Sinatra hit this one on the head.  The odd thing is, no matter how much you try, you cannot conquer Social Anxiety alone.  Sometimes, your best laid plans can fall smack on your face.  Last month, I was very happy that I had several of my bills paid off.  Then, I ended up in the emergency room.  If you have a plan to combat Social Anxiety, share with someone else to provide constructive comments to help you.