I eventually dropped out of college. It got to the point where I couldn't muster enough courage to leave my dorm room. I stopped going to classes altogether. So I moved back home and found a job. For nearly ten years, my life consisted of nothing but work and sleep. I spent a little time with friends but never really went out.
I did nothing for nearly a decade. No school, no girlfriend, no ambition. Nothing. But in the summer of 2006, something happened to me. I finally reached my breaking point. I was tired of feeling like I had no life and no hope. There's two ways you can go when you've reached that point. You either submit to everything you believe and give up, or you ######## fight it.
I decided to fight. I wanted more than to just be a workaholic trying to find overnight jobs that limited my interaction with people. I started exercising. At first, I did some walking three times a week. After a couple months, I walked five days a week. After six months, I jogged three days a week and walked two.
I cut back on what I ate. Slowly but surely, I began to lose weight. If you ever want to feel good, try losing just 5-10 pounds and see how you do. Losing a little weight motivated me to lose more weight. By the end of 2006, I had moved away from home and joined a gym.
Today, I've lost a total of 60 pounds and still continue to lose. I've been dating (quite a bit 
), returned to college, and am more social now than I've ever been my entire life. When they tell you that you have a problem, don't listen. The whole damn thing is a lie. Social anxiety exists only because we believe in it. You have to stop believing in the lie and start believing in yourself.
Guess I should try to write a blog. Like a lot of people here, I've been shy my whole life. It never really struck me until I was interviewed for advanced classes back when I was 14. The interviewer wrote in her notes that I was shy and reserved. I never really thought of myself that way until someone else said it.
I was part of the nerd herd growing up. I had taught myself how to read by the age of 3. It helps when you have a Speak and Spell and a strong desire to read the comics without asking your parents to help you. I've always been overweight. Ever since my parents got divorced when I was 7, I've turned to food.
I became the fat nerdy kid. Thick glasses, playing D&D, the whole nine yards. I bought into the lie that I was shy. I always had good friends (luckily I still have the same friends from school) but I didn't really date. Oh I wanted to date, but being 5 feet 8 inches and 260 lbs doesn't really endear you to the opposite gender.
After high school, I did the normal thing and went to college. My plan was to major in English and become a great writer. Of course, plans never work out how you want them to. I did well in my classes when I actually showed up to them. Although I lived in the dorm, I never got involved with any social activities. I stayed in my room and played video games while others went to parties.
When you can't relate to others, you begin to think that you're not good enough. Gonna catch a movie but I'll write again soon.
