|
Viewing 1 - 5 out of 5 Blogs.
This morning, around 8 AM I wake up to a loud knocking on the door. I hear my RA's voice outside so I open the door. She birefly says that there's an emergency floor meeting right now. Everyone on the floor - PJ clad and half awake -gathers in the lounge room. I have a gut feeling that its bad news right away, since I see the professors from the program I'm in standing by the doors (I've never seen them on the floor before). Inside there were more people, icluding the resident hall director and such. After a few minutes they finally come out and say what it is. One of the guys on our floor died in his room early this morning. I don't know what to say. I went to class this morning since I didn't know what else to do. Couldn't really focus so I skipped my next class and headed back here, thinking at least myabe my roomate should hear it from me (she had a morning lab and missed the meeting). I'm starting to think that was a mistake, I find I'm just isolated as usual and more so due to the atmosphere on the floor. I get the feeling some people have been glaring at me for keeping to myself and not huddling up in groups and crying. I'm not trying to be insensetive, its just how I am. I was the same way when two friends passed away last year. I tend not to cry in general, and never in front of other people. I can't say I knew him personally, but I'd defenitely seen him around and probabaly talked with him at some point. Just dying like that - its a hard pill to swallow. I think I'll go to class this afternoon. I just have to get out of here. They still wont tell us the cause of death. No foul play suspected. I saw a lot of cleaning crews in the boys side of the floor. *UPDATE: Turns out I my guess was right - it was a suicide. I'll be leaving for the weekend. It just really sucks being around on the floor. Thing is, I just read the campus newspaper and the guy was described as shy and not talking much in groups. Type of person I'd have liked to befriend.
Hello all Long Monday. Ah well. It seems like things will finally start getting settling around here. My B-Day was on Saturday (thanks again for all the comments, guys! ). I haven't done much on my birthdays since I turned 14 and prefer to not make a big deal of them, usually just a dinner and something during the day. Went to see "The Brave One" with my mom and brother. Being a huge vigilante/revenge fan, I loved the film - and it was nice to see a decent ending for the film. As for gifts, not a bad haul. Gift cards always come in handy. Nicest one was a new iPod (last one broke- something in the hardware). My roomate finally came back today. She says she's on medication now and that's helping, she's finally started taking classes again. Her parents wont let her move back into the dorm yet but she's hoping to soon. We had a long talk today while she was here. She told me she'd been depressed for a long time and suspected she had some sort of mood disorder. Then she mentioned how her mom had been giving her a hard time. I took a guess and asked if it was the "Get over it, it's all in your head" kind of attitude, which is how my own parental units have been with my SA. She looked suprised and said yeah. The I did something I don't usually do, I told her about my SA and how hard simple things could be. She seemed really relived that I could relate to her and asked me some questions without seeming creeped out (thats the reaction I tend to get when I mention SA). I'm looking foward to officially joining a search and rescue group chapter on my campus. I'm going to do that as a project for the program I'm in at college, it qualifies enough under natural sciences. Some wilderness survival/tracking training, CPR and first aid certification and then it gets interesting from there on. Hope I know what I'm doing... Also hoping the experience will count in paramedic training (another future goal of mine I hope to accomplish). Later
Update -
I just found she's in the hospital. One of her friends finally came over and explained to all of us on the floor. It seems like she had a total nervous breakdown and had to be admitted to the hospital to get help.
I had been recieveing wierd text messages from her today (I ask "where are you?" and she texts back "Food"). Turns out she's been sending wierd one-word text messages to the whole floor (including the RA).
Her friend said it would be at least a week before she could come back. I just feel so sad for her. She was extremely homesick, though I had no idea it was this bad (considering she lives 30 minutes away). I think going out to a party last thursday night may have helped trigger it (she's really against drinking since a relative was killed in a drunk driving incident, then seeing all the stuff at a frat party).
I'm just glad she's getting help. I was cleaning her side of the room earlier today so she wouldn't have to do it once she gets back, and one of her notebooks was open on the floor. I happened to see some of the writing on the page, and it was some pretty twisted stuff. I mean really chilling.
I don't know exactly what happened, but I really am nervous about this.
I came back to my dorm today at around noon after leaving thursday night to get some stuff from home.
I'm not expecting my roomate to be in the room since she had a required activity to attend to (were both in a scholar's program, but I'm a sophmore so I didn't need to go). But I walk in and see her half-asleep in bed. So I put my stuff down and leave the room to let her sleep.
I come back maybe an hour later and see that she's gone. The door is unlocked - which is very wierd for her because she's very strict about keeping the door locked when neither of us are in. A while later she walks back in and seems very unlike herself - sad and detached. She sits on her bad and we start to talk. I ask if she's okay and she says yes.
She asks me if I've seen her mom. I say no, she says she was supposed to meet her at eleven in the lobby (she says she went but her mom wasnt there) and asks me the time. I say 2 PM and she asks me what day it is. I say sep. 2nd, and she asks twice if I'm sure. She says: "Are you sure its not the 25th of August? I was supposed to move in on the 25th of August"
I start getting very wierded out at this point.
She keeps sitting next to her bed and starts saying some odd stuff: "Sometimes I try and see things, but they're not there" (something like that).
After a while she goes back into bed and just curls up under the blanket. After a few minutes she asks me if I've seen her dad.
I leave the room once she falls asleep and I go down to the service desk since I needed to turn in some papers. I go get some water from the store, and when I get back she's gone (and the door is unlocked again). Its night now and I haven't seen or heard from her. I asked around on the floor and one person told me she hadn't seen my roomate since last night.
She has never been like this before, she's normally highly social and has friends over. I don't think she was high or drunk, I'd probably be able to tell if she were. A few days ago she broke down crying when I was in the room. She just said she was homesick and didn't want to talk about it, but I suspected there was something more (death in the family was my guess). And I thought she might have depression.
I'm really worried right now. I considered going to my RA and telling her about this, but I'm not sure what I should do.
I'd like some advice.
Hi all. Took me a while to set up everything on my page (here's to hoping I keep my new avatar) but I think its mostly finished now. In a couple of days I'll be starting my sophmore year of college, moving back into my dorm on Sunday. Bit anxious about a new roomate, my last roomate was (borderline) okay. I feel kind of down about going back to the same room as last year, since most sophmores meet a friend by the end of the first year and request a new room with that person. Course that didn't happen to me. As long as my roomate doesn't sheepherd friends into the room it should be okay. Like I like to say: there's alaways someone worse and there's always someone better. Luckily I had a very entertaining summer. I did plan to work as a painter in this company at my college that hires students (pay was nice and it was near home) but unfortunately I bent to the insistence of the parental units and took a summer chemistry course at the community college. To summarize the end: crash and burn. But I there did find an friend I had lost contact with and been worried about. We met in group therapy about two years before but lost contact over the last year. She was there for bipolar disorder, me for SA (though I hadn't yet been offcially diagnosed with it). We always had something to talk about, which is really rare for me. Hopefully we'll run into each other again sometime. In July I went to my first anime convention, Otakon 2007. Stayed for the first two days and had an awesome time (aside from the time I spent over three hours in line for an autograph I didn't get). I tired to upload some pics of that to my gallery but for some reason they show up wrong - will work on that. More later on.
|
