I can't believe I did it, but I finally turned in my notice at work.  And lemme tell ya, it was the most anxiety-provoking situation I have EVER been in.  I've given verbal notices before, but it was not biggie.  But this was my first "grown-up" professional job, and I had no idea how they were going to react.  So here's the story....

As I previously wrote, I completed my two-year contract with the company last month.  I like the job in and of itself, but I work nights and it has just gotten to be a drag after 2 years.  I only get to see my husband, Kevin, for a couple of hours a day during the weeks I work, and although I have every-other week off, it's been a real challenge in getting back into a normal sleep schedule.  I've been doing better, but sometimes there are only two days a week that I get to bed at a decent time.  Kevin has been incredibly understanding, but ths isn't something I want to put up with for any longer. 

So on Wednesday night, I finally got the courage to send an e-mail to the HR manager requesting a meeting as soon as possible.  There was no turning back after that!  She e-mailed me the next day, and said she would also ask my manager to be there.  So I'm dreading this meeting all week long and Sunday night just absolutely drags by.  I couldn't concentrate on my work and having some good ol' anxiety attacks.  Finally, 7am rolls around on Monday morning.  The HR manager is in her office, so I go up and ask if she is ready to see me, or if we needed to wait for my boss.  She gives my boss a call on his cell phone, but he doesn't answer.  I'm a little put off that he didn't show, but I'm very happy that there will only be one person for me to talk to. 

Then the meeting starts.  And to tell you the truth, it went a lot better than I had planned.  The HR manager completely understood my reasons for wanting to leave.  She said that when it comes down to quality of life, you can't make any sacrifices.  I am only required to give 30 days' notice, but I gave 6 weeks (August 11), which she said was very good.  She said they may not have someone trained by then, but could offer me a severance package if they needed me to work until September.  I'm not one for negotiations, but I did speak up and say that if I were to stay until September, my only request would be for there to be full technician coverage during that time.  I work with one other person on my shift, and she is taking 3 vacation days starting August 18.  This past week when she took some days off, they oh-so generously staffed the shift for 5 of the 10 hours.  I'm pretty sure that demand will be met because if they can't find someone to work my shift, my boss would have to do it and he would want full tech coverage if he was there.  Score 1 for Kristen for speaking up for herself ;) 

I've also decided that I might take a breather from the working world just for a month or two and decompress.  I'm really looking for my dream job and don't want to settle for something I won't be happy with. 

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The 2-year contract I have with my company expired earlier this month, so I am officially free to look for a new job, which I have been dying to do for about the past 20 months, give or take. 

I really want to be out of there by mid-August.  I work nights and now want a daytime job.  I also currently work a 7 days on/7 days off schedule, and although I'll miss having 7 days off in a row, I won't miss having to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas every.single.year while most of the other employees are enjoying the day off.  Another thing I won't miss is having to work for my night shift counterpart because we have to cover for each other, so essentially we really don't get vacation days -- we just swap the days we work.

So tonight I am sending an e-mail to the HR manager, asking to meet with her next week, possibly after my shift is up on Monday.  This has been my first full-time grown-up job, and I've never turned in a formal notice before, so I'm incredibly nervous about it all!!

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So some of you may read the other day my rant about my friend coming to my hometown and not telling me about it.  I was ticked and just wanted to cut all ties with her.

Well, I took a day or so to think it over, and I decided to not jump to any conclusions.  First of all, as I said in my previous blog, we haven't been close in several years.  Second, I haven't exactly made any attempts at getting in contact with her other than the occasional post on Facebook or MySpace.

So instead of jumping to conclusions, I wrote her a very nice e-mail saying we should get together sometime.  Maybe meet up halfway between our towns and have lunch/go shopping.  

I'm really glad I made that move instead of just totally cutting her out.  At least I can say that I'm trying to build this friendship instead of tearing it town. 

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I have a really bad problem with burning bridges.  Whenever someone upsets me, instead of saying something to them, I'll just stop talking to them.

And I really want to burn this bridge.

K and I were pretty good friends at the start of college.  We studied together, went to conferences together, talked on the phone, everything.  But then she joined a sorority and I didn't.  Things weren't going to change between us, but she started hanging out more with the people in her sorority and I felt left out.  I flipped out one night about it, and actually DID say something to her and another friend about it, but they were just like, "No, no.  Nothing has changed!"  A few months later, I stopped talking to her.

By the time we graduated, we were on speaking terms, but it was more like the occasional e-mail than frequent calls.  Then last Christmas I found out she had been in my hometown and hadn't told me.  Even though we weren't good friends anymore, I still felt betrayed and went back to not talking to her. 

Then last month, right before my birthday, she sends me a Friend Request on MySpace.  I thought this might be a good way to break the ice again, so I accepted and we sent each other a few e-mails.  Then about 15 minutes ago, I was looking on her site and found out she had been in my hometown AGAIN without telling me!  Would it have killed her to stop and see me for 5 minutes or have lunch?  I probably have no right feeling the way I do, but I feel so hurt :(  She was one of the last best friends I ever had and now I have no one.

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Thanks to everyone for the birthday comments, posts, and hugs they sent.  Just the thought of you taking a moment or two out of your day to send me a greeting really touched my heart and made the day even more special.  

Thank you all!

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...why are these so hard for me to say to strangers?  I've been going for walks around a local park some mornings after I get off of work, but the last time I had the opportunity to go, I chickened out just out of fear of simply being polite to someone.

I've been to this park 4 times by myself, and it's not like anyone's ever been rude to me.  It's just that "Eek! People!" feeling comes over me and I try to avoid it. 

Goal:  Go to the park 2x each week for the next 2 weeks.  Say "Good Morning" to everyone I pass.

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So this past week was pretty blah.  I really didn't get much accomplished other than finally finishing Stephen King's The Stand after about 8 months of reading it, lol.

As I said in a previous post, I've been having some trouble sleeping this week, so I'm sure that's the root of my problems.  Well, a secondary root since I'm sure my SA is the main root. 

Two things I did not do well at this week are exercising and eating right.  Kevin and I went for a walk in the park on Monday after breakfast, but that was it.  During my off-weeks I'd like to exercise at least 3 times, but I was always too tired or it was too hot out or I had some other excuse  .  

During my off-weeks, Kevin and I are **really** bad about eating out waaaay too much.  This week we went to Cracker Barrel, Logan's, Armando's, Lupi's, Brewster's, and P.F. Chang's (twice!).  Lol, I just noticed was eat at a lot of places with " 's " in the title.  Kevin does all of our grocery shopping bc going shopping by myself has become one of my SA obstacles.  

Goals for the Week of July 22 

• Exercise 3 times
  
• Eat out no more than 2x
• Improve on sleep schedule
  

Goals for the Week of July 29

• Exercise at least 3 times
• Go grocery shopping by myself
  
• Eat out no more than 2x
• Continue to improve on sleep schedule
  

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So this week has been a really, **really** bad week for sleep.  The job I work is 7 days on/7 days off, and I work about 8p-6a on those days.  During most of my off-weeks, I get in the groove of my husband's sleep schedule.  He works 4a-1p. 

Well, this week I have gotten really bad about napping during the day, staying up late, and totally having no normal sleep schedule at all.  Yesterday I woke up at 4a, napped from 5p-8p, stayed up all night, and dozed from about 5a-6a on the couch after reading some. 

Kevin and I were planning on going furniture shopping today after he got off of work, but it's 7a now, and I'm obviously not asleep, so those plans are pretty much blown .  I did get some housework done this morning, so at least it wasn't a total wash. 

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