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So a couple interesting things  today...

 

I confess, I played hooky and skipped my lit class. Not that I was anxious or anything... I just didn't care. On the contray, I just went driving in the countryside while listening to music. It was a such nice day and I really felt in a great mood.

I just wanted to go exploring again after not doing much of anything for the winter. Well, I know winter's not over yet...

Got lunch and ate some by the river. It was nice, nobody there. :)

Got a bio test tonight coming up. Not worried about that in the least.

So the other thing... is that a letter came in the mail. Not to me, but my dad. So our ISP is aware that someone(my brother) has illegally downloaded a game with bittorrent.

Not that it bugs me much, but it now makes me wonder if our IP is being very closely watched now.

So I got a cold now. Great. It's not a particularly strong one but it's damn annoying. I was feeling better earlier but now my sinuses ache and my nose doesn't really work. I don't know how I'm supposed to sleep tonight.

I hate taking cold medication or ny-quil. The stuff always make my stomach feel weird and making me light headed. I get a brain fog and stupor from the stuff. 

 But I went to work tonight since I feeling better...

One situation I need to talk about. In my life of social anxiety, every now and then you come across these type of people who will figure you for being deficient and prodding you for an explanation. Their tone is almost condescending, but you don't know whether they are joking or being serious. But always turn up when I'm in a relatively good mood and their prodding just annoys the hell out of me and puts me into a bad mood. No, I'm not going into full discourse to explain my problems with a complete stranger. and an idiot at that.

So anyway, this guy has this "wonderful" idea of making paper frames for a poem print out. No, he thinks 2.50 for a cheap frame is way too freaking expensive so he wants to cut costs my making a crap paper one. Okay fine, it's his life, but he wants me... ME to help him cut the poster board so he can assemble it himself. It's complete waste of my time at the end of the day, but I decide to go ahead and cut it for him. Then he won't shut up and make up his mind about what size and color he wants. Finally after half an hour we agree to cut some 2" strips of gold poster board for his "frame" and some 8 1/2 by 11 pieces for his backing. Okay, it's take me about half an hour but he apparently thought I could do it in five minutes... sigh. Then he keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to start and entering my work shop... but I got him to go away and it did take me half an hour to cut all his poster board. Good, done, he can take it to checkout and buy it and leave. I should be charging him an arm and a leg for my labor but I don't... because I don't know what to charge for poster board cutting and I just want him to leave. Of course he then decides that the strips are too big and I should halve them.

For free, this is the limit of my patience. I have only 20 minutes left before store closing and I still have to do my closing duties. I would have to individually measure and cut each of those 30 or so strips because they are now too small for me to mass cut in the mat cutter. It would take me another half hour at least. So I just tell him that I can't do it now since I don't the time. I suggest he get a yardstick and a sharp blade and just cut it clean down the middle. Very simple and he has the time. Not me. Not for free. He left then. Thank God.

 See it's now wonder my sinuses hurt now. Then I had to rush through my closing duties... half of which didn't get done since it normally takes me an hour and half or more. And rushing makes me tired and stuffy and I feel crappy again.

So I'm suppose to back in at 8am as usual... With this damn cold I'll see how it goes. I'm barely getting a good nights rest between these shifts as is. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all tonight. ... I don't think I can use my ambien with nyquil or I'll really be put out. Oh yeah, these cold medicines make me poot a lot too. That annoys me even more.

I don't know. Maybe I'll go in late tomorrow. See what I feel like in the morning. 

So just some odds and ends right now to blog out more recent things.

I survived the weekend. Thank god that is over with now. Friday wasn't so bad except for the customers who wouldn't leave and making everyone stay later... when it's already late. Sucks for me since I don't get back home til 10:30 and just barely have the time to cook dinner, eat and sleep. Back up again at 6 am.

The second day I'm just tired but kept myself busy checking orders as I usually do on Saturdays. My frame shop got rid our computerized mat cutter machine so I helped take it apart and pack it up. By the end of the day my eyes are sore... I go home, eat, shower, chill and then sleep for 12 hours... back up at 9.

I really did not want to go back in Sunday since my eyes still hurt and I getting a headache. But I went and suffered through the day.  So I had to scan out and pack all of the mat sheets we no longer needed. Those things get heavy when you have a bunch of them together and packing them up with random boxes is a chore... but eventually it got done.

So my frame shop is pretty much in the pits now. No more in-house mats. Though I am capable of doing them by hand, there's really no point since we won't have any good mats in store anymore. It's just that our poo is too expensive for the average person. That and we rely on a vendor to actually do the framing work who often times are not quite perfect. Most of their pieces have to fixed by myself or the manager. I'm getting off now, but anyway it's going down. Part of the shop is going to be converted into storage space. Like the shop isn't crowded enough already.

Anyway... Monday.

Time to build a new monster. I got a Crossbone Gundam last week and after a few color schemes I finally settled on this.

 

Black and grey mostly. Red and gold details, orange lining. The underside of the cloak will be a metallic red with the outside a high gloss black. 

 So Monday i sorted and prepped the parts, made out my paint list and checked my airbrush. My airbrush was a bit gunked up... hadn't used it in a long time so I let it soak in acetone. I also have a couple of fake engine inserts for my dad's model aircraft to paint. So I shopped for paint and got about $36 worth... Had to special order a special thinner online for my washes. Hopefully I'll get that next week and not have to hold back for too long.

And Tuesday I started paint work. Focused on the frame and getting the metals done with airbrush. Of course something always goes wrong. Somehow I'm getting a backfeed back into my paint bottles which it making paint leak out. It pisses me off because it's a waste of paint. I just didn't quite have enough to do all I wanted... probably cause of loosing some paint. But I got all the important stuff and I can use another color for the rest. I'm down to working on the frame now.  

So that's it. I should probably go sleep now. 

There needs to a "tired" mood. Like now.

I guess content is the best I can pick.

So my work is staying open for another half hour for the holidays. Which means now I don't get back until close to 10:30... hardly enough time to eat and chill when I have to be back at 8am the next day.

But got through this day too. It was a rather boring day for the most part. I didn't really have anything in the shop to work. That annoys me since I have to scavenge for other things to do to pass the time... like putting away misplaced items, helping customers, walking around the store, fixing the carts... so boring. I got one in-house to job to do in the afternoon... kind of an odd order. Someone needed large photos mounted to foam board. I don't know why someone would want photos displayed that way but that's what they wanted. Only thing i can do today is tape mount it, they were okay with that and I took it. 

Man, when I went to go do it, I realized this was a dumb idea. The photos are rolled and like anything that it is rolled... it wants to stay rolled. Tape mounting something like that without the frame/glass holding it down is just a bad idea. Well fuck... but I did it anyway. I taped the heck out of those photos and got them as flat as can be. Still though, the things should have been fully framed.

So after work I got together with my friend and his gf. I helped him get a canvas at work for some project and we went shopping. So they helped me find some new sunglasses that hopefully look good(they think so), and found a cpuple of shirts that look good on me. I humbly admit i have no sense of fashion so hopefully relying on them a bit so i can look cool pays off. 

So I'm home now, ate leftover pasta and pretty tired.

Oh yeah, I got new health insurance now. My old program was too expensive and outdated. My new one is a bit cheaper and seems to have better benefits. 

Only got one thing to iron out. They billed me for the first month when it was already paid for at application. Gonna have to go talk to someone about that since I'm not paying for this month twice.

 

I'm annoyed only because I have a headache right now that won't go away. I took some excedrin... I'm still waiting for it to take effect. Hopefully it'll kick in before I have to go to work.

So my parents have been gone for week and I have pretty much been taking care of the house. My brother is here too, but he doesn't too much; goes to school and hangs out in his room.(well i hang out in my room a lot too). he did get rid of the trash so that was good.

It's been interesting. I've cooked dinner a few times now, taking care of the cats, washing dishes. I'd go out to a eat but i feel too weird going to a restaurant on my own so I eat in. I have to get a few more things at the grocery store now too, which I'll probably do after work tonight.

So out of spontaneity I added myself to a few dating sites this week. I still don't feel confident about using such things but figure I should make myself available... cast a wide net as some say. Haven't contacted anyone yet. Maybe I'll try later this weekend or something. 

I did hang out my friend a couple times on Sunday and Monday. I ask him about the girl at Gamestop I was interested in, thinking he might know her, but he doesn't. Since I probably won't see her again, I'm just going to have to let it go.

I did see the Ghost Hunters reveal for the live show from Halloween. I actually kind of disappointed. They didn't really show anything new from what i already knew before. I thought they would at least have a few interesting things on thermal or EVP, but no.  

I got the house to myself for a week... kind of.

Anyway, first off my horseback riding class has ended. I had a good time. It was neat to learn something different and I consider to a bit like one of my adventure exploring something. I don't quite something I would do for a living, but I appreciate the knowledge of all that goes into now. I had a very good ride on Tuesday. I pretty was able to do everything properly, with the sole exception of Phoenix's quirks, but it can't be helped. I believe Phoenix was now getting used to me and it was showing that day. I admit that will miss him now.

So it was my 27th birthday on Monday. I keep my b-days pretty simple. Cake and family in the evening. I got a shirt... "yay". Although my parents did help with a couple medical bills I had and in getting new insurance. I shopped for my own gifts; I know my wants best so i treated myself. I got the last set for Tekkaman Blade, Transformers movie, and Phoenix Wright 3.

I watched Transformers yesterday and I forgot that this movie is actually kind of long... That and now I notice a couple of plot contradictions. Like when the autobots describe Megatron as wanting to use the cube to transform Earth's tech... Like how did they know that? When Megatron came to Earth originally there was no technology at all. Sector 7 stated that nearly all of Earth's tech was reversed engineered from Megatron after they found him.(including cars, which for note were invented far before 1935...) So how did anyone know what Megatron's intentions were towards Earth's technology? Did somebody ask him?... no, he was frozen.
Well... It's not really a movie to take too seriously...

I watched the Ghost Hunters live last night from Waverly Hill Sanitarium. It was kind of neat to see just how one of their hunts progress in realtime. Their prime highlights seemed to be the toy ball moving, a light in the death tunnel(which I could never see), a few phantom reflections(never seen on camera), Steve getting ... fondled by something, and the best thing was their ECW guest freaking out and running away into the dark on his own. lol
I've got to remember to see their reveal next week to see what all their recorders got. Especially that one camera that got knocked over and apparently broke... hopefully the tape is still good and shows the moment it got knocked over.

Besides that, I pretty much had to stay up since I had some milk... by accident which screwed my gut over for the night. So it was a long night...

I was a little late for work this morning... oops. Oh well.

So today I had a couple who wanted a autographed jersey framed. The people ask me if we've done these before. We've done a couple of these before and they turned out good so I let them know that and I start out making a suggestion on mats. 

They're not sure and want to see photos of the jerseys we've done before. ... Okay, first off we don't have such photos. Second, it's not our business to be taking pictures of people's artworks and items. I admit it'd be nice if we'd have an sample framed jersey, but we don't. So I let them know we don't have any photos.

Then they want contact information for the people we did jersey's for before. Okay, first off, I don't know those customers personally and don't exactly remember who they were, and second, I can't just be handing out customer's information to people.  I let them know that i can't just give out customer info like that. They didn't like that and left.

They way they went about that just made me think they didn't want to believe me that we had framed jerseys before... Like they need verifiable evidence of such... I think it was a tad insulting really. I mean am I the one who's unreasonable? No one has ever asked for things like this before. We gets lots of irreplaceable things coming through here all the time and it's extremely rare that any problems occur. I don't understand what they were expecting... 

Okay, another moment for me to blog out.

So bear with me as I try to explain why I feel a bit bad a the moment. There is some part of my brain that is wired up for emetophobia... it's an irrational fear of vomit or anything related.

Now I don't suffer from all the time... but certain things will trigger it and it justs get set off. But what happens in my case is that this sudden phobia of vomit makes it extremely hard for me to eat or drink anything. If I try to eat, my throat constricts and I feel like I might vomit. Ands that's where the emetphobia kicks in and I stop eating.

So yes, something did trigger it today... So I've been like this for the past 6 hours now... I was feeling better about three hours ago and made something to eat and watch tv...

and fuck. All it it took it was a half second of something on the tube and it was set off again. I couldn't finish dinner so I've just been waiting it out since then. I'm getting a headache now from barely eating anything for a while...

What ticks me off is that I know this is all psychological and in my head but I can't really make it stop. I just have to wait it out til my brain cycles this crap out. In the meantime i have to avoid whatever slight things that could re-trigger it.

I am starting to feel better again. I can drink some soda... still can't eat at the moment.  I'll try and nibble on something a bit later.

So here's my week in review.

I went to a doctor monday and went over my ailments there, mainly with the nurse... but the doctor and I went over my constant tiredness issues and insomnia and he prescribed me ambien. I feel kind of special that i got a drug prescripition... but we didn't really get to go over the headaches, my bum wrist and the chest pains too well.  I had to get blood work done the next morning. Had to fast the night before... which sucks because half of my insomnia is from waking up hungry at night.

Oh and my friend called me out to go see the Resident Evil movie that night. It sucked.

But besides that he talked with me(or at me) about his girlfriend issues, family issues and that he's moving back into town. I really love him discussing his issue with girlfriend dedicating herself to him while trying to balance a life at college... I don't understand his complaints and all it serves is to make me feel angry at myself for still being single and alone at my age and I'd love to be in his position GF wise... 

That next morning was really hard... can't eat before they take your blood and I have to hold in my pee since they need that too. Thankfully it didn't take too long...

So a few hours after that I go to my horse class and get to pick up poo and throw hay bales.

I didn't start the ambien until that night. So I seemed to sleep well from it.  

Wednesday I got my car inspection done. That's always an uncomfortable chore to do in the respect that i have to wait around in the tiny waiting room with strange people for an hour. I brought my DS with and played that even though I felt self-conscious doing it around strangers. I was to get out of there when it done.

Then things started happening where i was feeling angsty and depressed. I was still feeling pissed about monday night and I start dwelling on my accursed singlehood. Not a good thing.

Thursday i didn't want to go to class, but I went away. I was still feeling down. That day we did some more grooming practice, I did tail washing... feed the horses hay nuggets and not a whole lot else.  Well I did feel better for a bit after that...

But the rest of day I got depressed again. It was maddening. I hate being single and keep feeling jealous and stuck. I despise myself and I suck, blah, blah, blah...

Only thing I could do the past few days to get my mind off it was to engross myself back into my writing again.

So I didn't take the ambien last night on the off chance that maybe it was making me more susceptible to depression. Of course I hardly got any sleep and was bleary eyed most of the day.

But I haven't felt too bad today...

However, I have to work long hours again tomorrow and I have to sleep. So I'm going to try this again and see what happens. 

Oh and my blood testing says I'm fine in that regard. I was really hoping there was going to be something weird... but, no... nothing interesting ever happens to me... 

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