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Feelin' okay. Need more sleep. Listening to Noah And The Whale. It's been a while since I wrote a blog on this page. In the time since I last wrote anything, I graduated with my Master's degree, moved to a new city, started a new job, had my car broken into, stopped one of my meds, took a lot of photos and did a lot of hiking, and finally tried salmon.
I had a dream tonight that I had discovered some sort of very important thing... one of my students had an IEP meeting coming up, so I needed to see them ASAP and write up s/l goals. I had better get up and put a note about that in my planner... no, wait, I'll remember! No I won't. Yes I will. Somehow I didn't think through the notion that, "hey, didn't I find all of this out while I was *asleep*? Maybe it's not even true." I sometimes think I've gotten too casual since over the summer. Summer speech/language therapy was very laid back. I didn't plan for the kids, just did the sessions. Didn't need to look at their previous reports, just "did stuff", it all worked out. But I have to have the documentation now... it's the nit-picky, red-tape aspects that are not instinctive yet. Poo on me. I'll catch up. Some of the general ed. teachers are just pills. And I don't really understand why. I'm usually able to disarm the defensive by just remaining friendly and confident, so over time, I think I'll be okay. It's hard when you're new.
Speaking of being new... I still don't eat in the teachers' lounge. Scary! I usually just sit in my office and eat at the computer while doing work. I should be more sociable, and I know that.
I wonder if my thyroid is low. I'm pretty much always cold... or, well, my hands are. Actually, all of me is. Maybe it's the meds? I don't know. All I know is that, in Washington, that sucks, because it is warm for like 3 days a year here. Maybe I"m just getting old. I desire white tennis shoes and a Crown Victoria! Now I'm taking Nexium for heartburn. So... that's nice. I don't like it as much as Protonix. I hate GERD. Hate it hate it! My days of copious pizza consumption at 11:00 pm are over, and that makes me a sad panda. If you are reading this then you will automatically be granted good luck by eight magical polystyrofoam garden gnome cutouts. Lucky you! :) Lalala I love Dinosaur Jr.
Fun fact: if you eat like 80 million jelly beans in one sitting, you will feel sick, no matter how colorful or delicious they may seem. So don't overeat jelly beans, or you will feel like poo. I cannot believe how great the weather is today. Or most days now. March-October in Washington = awesomeness. I have to drive down to a job interview next Tuesday so hopefully it will be good weather for such things. I'm so disappointed in toothpastefordinner. All of Drew's comics lately have SUCKED. I don't know what's going on. Maybe he's just becoming an asshole. Anyway life goes on.
Why do I rawk so much? What gives me my awesomeness? Where did I go so right? How do I deal with my amazing supercoolniftiness? These and other questions often plague the minds of some people. I'm pretty sure they do anyway. I've been really sleepy all of yesterday and today. I think today I'm going to take an Ambien and get extra sleep. I gotta get over this weird "buzzed" feeling I have going on. I wonder if I am taking too much Parnate. I took some extra just as a "booster" for a particularly challenging weekend. Drugs drugs drugs. I wish you could take drugs and not feel like you're a helpless, semi-dangerous nutjob the way that some people portray things. Saturday: photo shoot! I haven't decided for sure, but I'm really inclined right now to head up to the Diablo Lake area on Saturday. It would be a good day to do that. Then again maybe I'll just go northeast to Shuksan. Meh. I wish I could do both! But I have a desire to shoot something along SR-20, for purely selfish reasons of my own. Along the road is an unusual subject that plays a role in my dreams.
Too many things on my mind lately! Maybe if I write them out it'll help. - I don't even know where I will be living in 3 months. Which makes life pretty unpredictable. I *think* I'll still be in [wherever my town is haha] but I am not sure, because...
- My summer internship fell through. And now I have a very short time to find a new one.
- I am not as worried about passing comps as I was before. But that still worries me too.
- So does employment. I need to get ready for employment for September (yes, trust me, I do). 6 months from now, probably live in a different part of the state! Which means moving again!
- Moving! I hate moving!
- Starting my next quarter internship. That's on my mind.
- And then just making it though the everyday, which is hard enough
I can't really afford to think past the 6-7 month mark. Hell I can't really think past the 1 or 2 day mark, or I start to hyperventilate. So when does this poo end? I wake up about every other night from nightmares and worries and can't go back to sleep. I'm fortunate to have people in my life who stick this out with me. But I'm still so, so freakin' whacked out here! On the brighter side of life, I'm taking a very fun vacation in about 2 weeks! I don't think I've ever been looking forward to vacationing so much! Time to wait for the Ambien to work, say a prayer, and hope for real sleep tonight. The future will do its thing. I just need to start with sleep.
Just is! And she's even wrong on stuff! Listen up Dr. Z: - Frequency Range of Phonation norms for young, healthy adults IS 2.5-3 OCTAVES!! Look it up in Deem and Miller!
- Pitch Range IS reportable in terms of musical tones. In fact, I can't find a damn reference anywhere to FRP reported as hertz.
- Perturbation DOES measure aperiodicity of vocal fold vibration. That's it's DEFINITION. Presence of vocal nodules interfere w/ the action of the mucosal wave causing greater variation in frequency and amplitude and therefore perturbation and yes I KNOW that the perceptual correlate wrt voice quality is roughness.
I failed my comps because SHE is wrong, not because I'm wrong. This pisses me off. I haven't yet decided how to best approach this. What an unpleasant woman to have to deal with. As soon as I get signed off on my Master's degree, I'm toilet papering her house.
I have 5,000 views on my flickr page! :D ____ I went to walk out along the boardwalk tonight. The tide was low, and the reflections of lights in the water from the ferry boats were long. They seemed brighter than normal. The shoreline rock formations took on eerie shapes in the dark. I stood with my elbows resting on the railing and looked over the water for a long time. "At once Jesus perceived in his spirit that they were discussing these questions among themselves; and he said to them, "Why do you raise such questions in your hearts?" - Mark 2:8
Woo hoo back to schooooool! Ain't life interesting that way? I don't think I will ever graduate! Ever! I'm going to a doctor this week. I am convinced I have a peptic ulcer. Google tells me so, and 40mg Prilosec + 300mg Zantac per day sure ain't good signs. For some reason I'm always afraid the doctor will tell me I have cancer. Went to the derm once for acne, I was certain he'd tell me I had cancer. Some day, the stress of worrying about cancer will give me cancer. By the way, is there a reason I did an extra long course of Accutane and my acne is BACK ALREADY?? :( I want the album by Old Canes in the worst way. WORST WAY.Chris's latest obsession. TFD: 
That's about it right there. I just wanna know that I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and a future. :( Why is that so hard?
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