Hey guys,
I just wanted to thank all of you for being so welcoming when I joined, and for being such great friends these past 6 months. Since I have so many social networking accounts, I'm kind of overwhelmed with giving each one attention. I decided to keep a private MySpace account for all the people I know "in real life" and another one for my online friends (a majority of which includes you guys). Social anxiety still affects me, but it will never outpower my ambition to thrive in this 1 life I have. I think I've gotten enough support here to last me a lifetime, and that it's time to leave SAF. I still want to talk to all of you. If you're interested in keeping in touch with me, just send me a quick note and I'll give you my e-mail, AIM, and new Myspace address. And just incase I don't talk to some of you again, just remember it's never too late to accomplish what you want to accomplish. Even if you fail, just get up and take another stab at it. You're all great and I'll keep all of you in my thoughts. I hope your struggles with SA are fewer than your successes. Be good!
I've got to say I love the way the new SAF looks! As I said in my last blog, I'm a big advocate of change. But..(and this may sound dumb so forgive me) it sort of creeps me out that there are all these links to external social sites like Digg and Facebook. It just seems like people with SA wouldn't want their blogs to be submitted to all these different places by any number of people. I know we're submitting blogs here to the SAF community, but there is a comfort in knowing that the people reading the blogs are probably going through something similar or have been there before. I have a Facebook account, as well as Digg and MySpace, but I use those for entirely different purposes than this site. My blogs on those sites are entirely different from my blogs here. I guess it's stupid, but I kind of felt like SAF was my own little haven. It just feels like it's not as safe for me to post my day to day feelings on my SA anymore. At the same time, I realize the site wants to grow and this new site is a great step in that direction. I just really wanted to get that out..not hating on the new site, just wanted to put this out there to see what others think.
when i woke up i called my mom and joked with her about there being a letter from the school i'm trying to get accepted to. the letter isn't supposed to come until mid-late june, but i talk about it everyday. in the back of my mind, i know i didn't get in, but playing the waiting game has me going crazy.
i put oscar on his leash and walk him to the mailbox. inside there are 3 letters. ...there it is. the letter, it's early! i start to feel sick, because although i really WANTED the letter and the news, i didn't want to face the rejection that i knew was inevitable.
the rest of the walk was a blur. i was shaking and couldn't wait to get back inside to call my mom to ask her if i should open it with her over the phone.
i played out this scenario a lot over the past 8 months! i had imagined making my dad open it and telling me the results, or making my mom open it, or me opening it in front of them, etc.
however, now it was actually in my hands, and no one was home. if i actually thought i was going to get in, i probably would have waited for one of them to open it and tell me the news. but i really didn't want them to have to say they were sorry i didn't get in. anyway, i called my mom, and she said we could open it over the phone.
i told her it probably wasn't good because it didn't feel very thick. i opened it and immediately saw a yellow piece of paper. i said, "does yellow paper mean rejected?" she said she didn't know, and that maybe i had gotten the "golden ticket" lol
it turns out there were 3 pieces of paper and that the yellow sheet was the last. i read the first sheet and immediately saw the word CONGRATULATIONS! what???? i got in?!?!?!? i can't even remember what was said after that. i do remember reading every single word of those 3 pages to make sure it didn't say "just kidding" or something of that nature.
i got in! i can't even believe it. i guess right now, i'm breathing a sigh of relief. this is really amazing. i'm so thankful and so excited about my future. i truly, didn't see this coming, although it was my goal all along.
sorry for the long, and maybe boastful, post. it's just something i wanted to share with all of you. especially since i talked so much about studying and worrying!
i hope all of you are doing well, and have a fun weekend :)
