Viewing 19 - 27 out of 67 Blogs.

<< First  < Previous | Page:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next >  Last >>

On December 20 I had my cat, Heidi, euthenized.  I got her as a kitten when I was about 11 or 12, which makes her about 13 or 14.  She had a upper respiratory infection for years, and meds didn't seem to help get rid of it.  Plus, she would try to bite me when I attempted to give her the meds.  Anyway, she started having diarrhea all the time and she lost a lot of weight.  She just didn't look good at all, and I think the diarrhea got a bit worse because before she would try to use one of the piddle pads we have out for the dogs, but then she started going wherever she happened to be.  It finally got to the point where I started to seriously consider having her put to sleep.  Then I finally made the appointment to have it done.  The vet said she may have kidney disease, that she was a bit yellow and could have some liver problems, and that she may have some sort of cancer that's causing her to have the diarrhea.  So my options were to wait it out and try some of the treatments, give her some fluids (because she was dehydrated) and wait for it to get worse, or have her put down right then.  I chose the last option.  I didn't want to watch her get worse.  I miss my kitty.  She was sweet.  And I think she actually liked me.  I miss seeing her when I come out of the bathroom after I get up every day.  She'd always be sitting there outside the door, waiting for me.  I'd pet her and go about my day.  I don't really want another cat.  I've tried the other cats we already have, but they're all a tad feral.  I looked at some cats up for adoption at Petsmart, but I just wasn't that interested.  I'll just wait until I feel I really want a cat again, but right now I don't think I do.

My holiday has been nice.  I've gotten lots of sleep, maybe a bit too much.  But anyway, I got some nice gifts and saw more family than I did last year I think.  Molly didn't get to open her own gifts on her birthday, but she got to on Christmas.  She seemed to enjoy it.  I figured she could have opened her own gifts at her bday party, but the other kids were too willing to help her open them all.  Anyway, she got a ton of stuff for her birthday and for Christmas.  All I gave her were little books.  They were nice books I thought would be good for her to appreciate.  They're these little board books of some paintings by different artists; each book is a different artist.  I got her Degas, Monet, Picasso, Van Gogh, Matisse, and.... some other person. My sister-in-law like them at least.

I got some nice things, a couple of sweaters, a desk set, a Diana+ camera, a new cell phone, some books and puzzles, a couple of giant microbes (HIV and Ghonorrhea), a bag, a bug bracelet, and a couple of gift cards.  So I'm pleased.  I didn't get the mp3 player, but maybe for my birthday.  It's not expensive so I can buy it myself.  I got my sister-in-law some coffee, a pretty bird candle, and a journal.  I got my brother a dvd set of Nova documentaries about Ebola, AIDS, Pandemic Influenza, and Typhoid.  My dad got some coffee and a copy of the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack.  I got my mom the same candle as my sister-in-law and a little plate with koi painted on it.  She likes koi.

I always get my niece little books.  I've got a Beatrix Potter collection waiting for her unless she loses interest in books.  But she seems to like being read to.  Anyway, I gave Molly some books last year or so, one of which was a board book of Let's Make Rabbits by Leo Lionni.  I thought it was cute, but my brother apparently has a filthy mind and thinks it's dirty.  He even told other people about this book.  I never looked at that book and thought it was suggestive in any way.  So now I'm kind of offended that he thought that about the book and TOLD OTHER PEOPLE!!  Whatever, I'm still going to buy books for her.  But now I'm going to have to first consider if my brother will make fun of a book I'd like to get her.

I overate yesterday.  Really.  I just wanted to go sleep after that.  The food was tasty though.  I was the only person to get seconds.  The others went ahead and started on dessert while I was still finishing lunch.  I wasn't that interested in dessert though.  It was mostly just cookies and such.

So we had lunch at my aunt's house and then we went to my grandmother's house later.  They had just finished eating it seemed and were cleaning up when we got there.  I wasn't hungry though, so it worked out.  Molly arrived later, so everyone got to see her again.

I haven't talked to Aaron since last time.  I talked to him a little this morning, he got a Holga camera for Christmas but he doesn't want to deal with film.  Anyway, I have to admit that I was uncomfortable around him last time, and I'm really not interested in seeing him as much as I used to.  We had a nice dinner, I eventually managed to relax some.  But it wasn't what I expected I guess.  I'm taking this to mean I'm pretty much over him now.  Which is good.

Now I need to go back and finish my work.

It's actually cold today.  I came to work early, but I didn't go inside.  I went to my dad's truck to try to sleep, but it was too cold and I didn't like having it on in order to heat it.  Also, they're apparently demolishing a building nearby so I got to hear a lot of that also.  I finally gave up and went to work.  Harini was here, which I did not expect because she told me last week she would not be working Tuesday.  She said she is trying to get all the work done this week because she's so close to being finished with it all.  Soo, I guess I can relax the rest of the week.  But I figured I would start working on my repeats plate, at least start getting everything ready so I can do it more easily when I have all I need.  But it's more than a full plate already, oh well.

I don't understand why it's so cold in this lab.  Gah!

My grades were posted last night.  I got one A and 5 B's.  I'm happy enough with that.  Harini said she got all A's.  But that's okay, even though I'm totally jealous.  Maybe I'll manage some A's next semester since I'll have fewer classes.

My niece's birthday party is Thursday.  I got her some books, which is also what I got her for Christmas.  She really likes Christmas trees, and she can sort of say "Christmas tree."  I saw my brother Saturday and he said she found a permanent marker and drew on everything possible within the few minutes she had it and no one realized it yet.  He said she drew on the floor, the walls, the computer monitor, her bed, her dresser, and apparently part of her sparkly red shoes.  I think that's hilarious, but he's going to have to repaint the walls and the furniture.  Hahahahahahahaha!!  The marker came off the floors and the monitor.  I used to draw on the walls.  I know I got a permanent marker once and drew on my mother's dresser.  She didn't appreciate that.  The marks are still there.  I also drew on the bottom of the coffee table, but apparently that's okay since no one can see it.  I marked the crap out of that table though.  That chalkboard paint should have been invented about 25 years earlier.

I haven't eaten well this week.  Friday I had a great meal, Indian food, and I stuffed myself.  I was so hungry.  I haven't eaten much since then other than lunch on Saturday.  That was an actual meal.  I'm super hungry right now, and I'm trying to decide where I want to eat.  I think I have about $10.  I know I can get a decent meal from Tracy's Cafeteria, but I don't now how well that really fills me up.  I'd like some Mexican food, or maybe just a burrito.  I'd go to Taco Bell but I hate that one that's nearby.  Maybe I could go to Surin, get some Thai noodles.  That's not so expensive.  And it's a good deal, you even get some yummy soup with it.  Or, I could go to Qdoba and get one of those huge burritos they make, or a quesadilla.  I had a quesadilla there once, it was good.  I'd go to McAlisters but they really are a bit to expensive for what you get, and I don't want a sandwich.  Don't want a burger either, so that rules out Al's and Arbys.  I'll go to Surin.  I've got a lot of time today to waste since I can't do much work.  Mmmm....thai noodle bowl.  I hope it won't be busy there.  I'll have to get there early.  But I don't remember what time they start serving, gah!  Maybe it's online, I'll have to check.  I'm so damn hungry.  Maybe after that I could go to Starbucks for some hot chocolate or coffee or tea and a cinnamon bun or some equally tasty pastry.  It's a plan.

I really do.  I think they're kind of cute.  I like to let them crawl on my hand.  I scared the poop out of one once.  When I was in undergrad, there was a fish aquarium in the biology deptartment that had a lot of snails in it.  I loved to watch them eat the algae on the sides of the tank.  I gave some of those snails to Bert.  She likes snails, too.  Just not in the same way I do.  They don't look as appetizing to me.  She even ate the shells.

I finally downloaded season 1 of Flight of the Conchords.  I've really enjoyed it.  I recommend it to everyone.

I had a final this morning.  I guess it went well.  As long as I get a B in the class I don't care.  But I still hope I did well on it, a B would be great.  I have one tomorrow night, environmental health.  I'm not looking forward to it, and I haven't studied any yet.  Doesn't seem that studying helps me all that much in that stupid class.

My ex talked to me online yesterday.  But of course he's not online tonight.  Anyway, he asked if I still liked him and do I miss him.  I honestly haven't missed him as much as I did a few months ago.  He wants to buy me dinner Friday to celebrate me finishing the semester.  I'm all for some free food.  I just don't want him to get my hopes up again, and leave me confused and hurt later.  I'm sick of that.  To be honest I don't really want a boyfriend or a relationship right now.  Friends would be nice.  But anyway, some of the things he said just sort of annoyed me.  I mean, HE dumped ME.  Not the other way around.  So he doens't really have a right to be bothered about certain things because we aren't together anymore.  He also shouldn't be all that upset if I don't miss him much anymore and if I don't like him as much as I used to because it was his decision to break up.  Guess I'm still a bit angry and hurt by that.  It was such a bad crappy year, I'd rather forget it all.

What is this smiley  supposed to be?

On the way to work I saw that they were doing bridge repair on 65 south.  I knew that Aaron was going to be going to his sister's for his nephew's birthday today (which requires him to go south), so I called him and told him to avoid that part of 65.  See how nice I am?  I did actually consider not telling him, but I did anyway.  No one likes to sit in traffic like that.  I brought a frozen chicken pot pie for lunch.  But I don't have a fork to eat it with .  I added up my hours for this week and found out I really shouldn't have bothered coming in today.  I can only get paid for 20 hours, and I've already worked over 18.  Oh wells.

I did my presentation.  I didn't mention one thing that I feel I really should have.  Oh well.  He said every group got an A on the presentation.  So that's good.  I was really nervous.  I hate that feeling.  I wore nice clothes today, and immediately changed as soon as I got back to the lab.  I feel much more comfortable, and my feet don't hurt now.  I really want to go home and go back to bed.  I've had this headache for a few days now.  I'm tired of it.

I've been listening to the New Pornographers a lot lately.  It was mostly because the recent issue of Blender listed their album Mass Romantic as the 24th top indie record.  Also, I've been listening to a lot of Neko Case, too, and she's a member of that band, sometimes.  I highly recommend her latest album The Fox Confessor Brings the Flood.  Anyway, I also recommend the New Pornographers.  There are two songs on the playlist on my profile.  I saw a video for one of their songs, Sing Me Spanish Techno, on YouTube.  I found it really hot for some reason.  Hopefully I'm not alone in that.  I'm really not a sexual deviant.  I'm more of a sexual bore.  Yeah.  Tickling is nice, though.  Ahem, anyway.

Finals are coming up, and there's a lot to finish up before then.  I'll like not having anymore classes for a while though.  Big presentation on Wednesday morning.  I'm nervous.  I feel like I won't present my section well.  I'll have to practice a lot before then.  Practicing is always so embarrassing though.  I hate talking to myself in a mirror.  I'll just have to suffer through it all.  And find some decent clothes to wear.  I don't like dressing up.  My shoes never fit well and they're uncomfortable to walk in.  At least I have really cute shoes.

It was cold today.  Yeah, well maybe 50 isn't cold for a lot of other people, but it hasn't been that low much so far.  I wore a nice turtleneck, my coat, and a hat.  I walked pretty far for lunch.  It was a nice walk, I enjoyed it.  I spent an hour for lunch, usually I'm there and back within 40 minutes at the latest.  I sat and ate slowly, sitting in the sun in a booth at Arbys.  Walked back without my hat on, and it was sunny out, and it was just so very nice.  I got cold and it felt fantastic.  I even went to Starbucks and got hot chocolate.  I think they put some crap on it though, that was unecessary.  I wondered why it was taking so long to mix some damn cocoa.  It was good though.  It won't as cold tomorrow, however.  That is really disasppointing.  I'm tired of it being so warm all the time.

I thought I was supposed to meet up with my group for my Health care organization class today.  We have a big presentation next week, and I thought we were going to go over how to divide it up and practice.  I skipped class because I actually had a bit of work to do since I slacked off all last week.  Plus I didn't want to sit through nearly 3 hours of other people's presentations.  So, I went down there where I thought class was supposed to be today to see if I could find them then.  But I didn't see anyone, and the classroom doors were closed.  Did it finish early?  I have no idea.  I don't even know if anyone else went to class today.  So, I sat around and checked other floors to see if I could find them.  I didn't find them.  I emailed the "group leader" and still have no reply.  I tried calling her and another person, got nothing.  I left a message with the leader girl.  But shit, I hope they didn't actually meet today and didn't bother to contact me.  I'm really afraid that's what they did.  That they've been working on it, and I'm the only one not there.  And that means I would get a bad review on the peer evaluation forms or something.  I would like several days to practice, even if I can only really talk for a few minutes in this presentation.  See I'm stressing out over something I really don't feel I should be.  Everything has gone so smoothly before now.  There wasn't any good reason to meet today other than convenience for everyone.  But damn, if you're going to cancel make sure everyone else knows.

I've been like this since Monday.  Just anxious and stressed and so tired.  Last night I didn't do anything, just watched some tv and did a bit of laundry.  Also, I need my prescription refilled.  I ordered it from Walgreens to be shipped to me.  Hopefully it will show up within the next couple of days.  I took a lower dose last night just so I would at least have something the next few days.  Maybe that's part of my problem today.  Yesterday, I tried to rush over the the VA to buy something to eat from their store because it's cheaper and I don't have to pay sales tax there.  I thougth I had $10 in my pocket, but when I went to pay for my goodies I could only find a $1 bill.  So, I told her I didn't have the money and left.  Now, I was already frustrated and really pissed off when I walked in there because when I tried to cross an intersection to get to the VA, I almost got hit first by a guy on a bicycle and then by two cars trying to make turns.  It really makes me mad when I almost get hit by a car when I am trying to cross the street at a cross-walk when I am allowed to cross.  I mean, shit, just wait a couple seconds so I can get the hell out of your f***ing way.  Anyway, I had to walk all the way back to the school to get my money.  I didn't find it so I grabbed my card and went back.  In the elevator I checked my back pocket again and there was my $10.  Grrrr.  Then I came back, ate the donuts and cupcakes rather than my actual microwave meal, and went to class. 

In the last class of the day, I was tired and wanted to go home.  But I was assigned a question about some journal article, and each question was assigned to two people in case one didn't show up.  The other person answered my question, and it was the same answer that I had written down so I had nothing to add.  He still came at me with the microphone though.  Thankfully I didn't have to talk on it.  Before that, at the beginning of class he asked a question about when something was due, I wasn't really paying attention.  He came at me then with the microphone to answer.  I just shrugged and he moved on.  I guess I chose the wrong seat yesterday.  That will never happen again.

God I hope they didn't meet today.

I should have gone to work today to get things done.  I feel guilty about that now.  Maybe I'll go tomorrow.  My mother took two of the dogs to the vet today, I went along to help.  They didn't need shots or anything, just nails clipped.  That was at 8:30.  I came home, sat in front of my computer briefly, then went back to bed.  Even put my pajamas back on.  I got up just a little while ago, 1:30 in the afternoon.  Weird.  I had strange dreams that were not enjoyable at all.  Some of which addressed personal issues of mine I don't feel like describing or discussing.  Or thinking about.

Thanksgiving was okay.  My brother wasn't there which I think made it slightly better.  My dad was grumpy, but he usually is.  Just a tad extra grumpy all week.  He worked today though.  Nice for a little break from his moodiness and the tv being on all damn day at insanely high volumes.  That tv being on so loud all the time does not help my comfort level.

Anthropologie.com is bad for me.  I sat around going through everything on their website yesterday.  I wanted the majority of it all.  But it's all expensive and I can't afford it.  I also have little need for a lot of it.  I still want it all though.  I think I'll sit and look at it all again today.  Then I can pretend I don't live at home with my parents with no drivers license or car or money that would allow me to move out and live on my own and be independent like I want to be.  I'll be cool one day, just you wait.

God I've been so lonely lately.  It's hard to not feel that there is something wrong with me that keeps others away from me, and I can't help but feel rejected.  It really hurts and it really sucks.  Maybe I should just get used to it because it doesn't seem likely to change anytime soon.  I've also been feeling incredibly unattractive.  Unattractive in every possible way.  I have little to offer anyone but my insecurities.

<< First  < Previous | Page:  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next >  Last >>