Don't take it personal if I am antisocial at times, or unresponsive. It's on and off again with me, right now. I mean nothing personal by it. HIGH stress levels in my life right now.
Also, when I'm here, I'm probably more likely to socialize or just hang out in the chatroom.
If it seems like I'm saying too much, or giving TMI (too much info), it's not because I'm trying to sound like a know-it-all. Or, any other stupid reason. It's because I already know enough people in real life I hide things from, so I'm not fuckin' here to meet even more. Thus, the detailed, thorough and personalized profile.
LIFE STORY: Hi. I'm 29 years old, going on 30. 5'4", 125 lbs, long brown hair and eyes, caucasian male. I was born in Raleigh, North Carolina and raised in the cities of Garner and Cary, nearby. I graduated high school in 1997. I was on the varsity wrestling team. After graduation, I worked at the airport a few years, while staying with my dad, stepmom, and 2 brothers. I moved with my dad and stepmom down to Florida in late '99, while my younger brothers decided to stay in NC and move back with their/my real mother. Once I arrived in Florida, I stood with my dad a short time before moving into my own place, within a month.
Unfortunately, my newfound independence was not to be a lasting thing, as I got involved with the wrong elements, and eventually joined the Army for an escape into a better path. Especially since my granddad had been Special Forces and they offered great benefits. However, I've never been big on conformity or government, and being skeptical from the getgo about whether or not I would enjoy this lifestyle, I decided that I would wait til I arrived at my permanent duty station before I made my decision. My permament duty station was very close to my old home in NC with my mom and 2 brothers.
Long story short, I was a pretty good soldier, but the lifestyle was too strict for me at the time, and I had other ideas what I wanted to do. I got out on an honorable discharge. Other than that, I don't feel like elaborating. Once I got my release, I decided that I would go to school at Wake Technical Community College, where I am currently close to an associates in Internet Technologies. My mother had offered me to come "back home" with her and my brothers while I went to school, and right now, financially, it was a good thing I came back, because we are all having to chip in to keep the roof over our heads. We also have two dogs, Brutus (who I had wanted to call Smokey) and Bandit, who I love to death.
I'm not sure whether or not I want to use that degree, or pursue another path. I had always loved writing, drawing, and things that let me use my imaginative side. Long story about that and why I chose my current degree, but I'm looking forward to graduating and trying things out on my own again. I might want to go back to school after graduation and sit in on some classes on photography and creative writing.
RELIGION: I am an agnostic theist, which for those who don't know what that means, I'll explain. Agnostic meaning that I believe that nothing can be proven in the way of science or theistic beliefs, and I have enough confidence admitting that (like everyone on the planet) I do not KNOW these things. The "theist" part just means that I lean toward thinking that some form of supreme being or higher power exists in some shape or form, even though I don't take the words of any one faith as gospel. I also am completely for the separation of church and state.
Religious morals have their purpose, but not everybody will EVER agree on the same ones. You can't expect a Muslim to care about Christian morality or a Christian to care about pagan morality. One example of why religious morals do not belong in politics is the people who are now trying to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage. I also think that personal religion has no place in public schools or government, to a degree.
Though I do not agree with public prayer or official prayer in school, I think banning private prayer in school or banning christian kids from wearing crosses, but allowing Muslims or other minority American faiths to pray or do whatever, is a line of crap. AND I have actually heard of that.
I also think the "Merry Christmas" thing is just overly sensitive liberals. From what I understand, a lot of non-Christians could care less, and it's not like we don't allow them to celebrate their own holidays.
However, religion is not synonymous with morality, as I've known some cool levelheaded atheists, Christians, and all types. AND I've known hateful ignorant pieces of poo from many of the above mentioned groups.
SEXUALITY: I am also semi-bisexual. I have had sexual relations with both males and females, but no relationship experience, due to extreme social anxiety and shyness. Add to the fact that I believe I may have some of my brother's condition, Asperger's Syndrome, even though to a lesser degree, which makes identifying with "normal" thinking people a lot harder. Also, I think people that consider male homo/bisexuality an automatic issue of "manliness" are idiots. Many gay guys are athletes, bikers, soldiers, leaders and all kinds of masculine things. A guy can lick @$$ one minute, and kick it the next. Alexander the Great was a "fag" who led armies to almost conquer the world. Hardly less of a man.
When I say, I'm "semi"-bisexual, I mean this. Romantically, I am attracted to women. I will be 99% more likely to notice an attractive woman walking down the street than I will a guy.
I am more attracted to a woman's facial features and whole package. With guys, it is simply kink/fetish. I am mostly "bottom" when with guys. I have a large kinky side. Although fairly masculine in everyday life, I like to crossdress in private. I love black guys. Yes, I'm a bit of a freak, but so are many straight males. Think about it. What are two common fantasies among straight males? 3ways with 2 bisexual women and anal sex with women. I think the double standard for male and female bi/homosexuality is retarded.
My ultimate dream would be to hook up with a down-to-Earth bisexual woman who is like me, in many ways, and then for us to find another cool couple for a neighbor/swinger type living scenario and settle down in a cool open-minded locale. Cool trustworthy honest people.
I'd love a bi gal whose another submissive type personality, like myself, but who can be dominant and adventurous with the right partner. I also have a HUGE thing for women who smoke cigarettes. Even during sex. I quit myself, and don't plan on ever starting the habit back up. I also like to write occasional erotic short stories.
WHAT I LIKE IN WOMEN: If you haven't been freaked out, yet, keep reading. lol. I already mentioned I LOVE women who smoke. Aside from that, a girl who can get into things like pro-wrestling, horror movies, and carnival rides. A girl who is compassionate, but not afraid to speak her mind on things she feels strongly about. A girl who could talk all night about whatever, and show some level of intelligence, but also be a freak in bed. A girl who believes in HONESTY, first and foremost. I think the whole thing where certain spoiled "pretty" girls are used to having a lot of guys compete for their attention, while they do nothing but pass judgement, is a load of crap.
I would like a girl who believes in 50-50 in a relationship. Not everything is on the guy to "impress" a girl he really barely knows, except for physical attraction. I'm more for a relationship that springs from initial mutual friendship. About the 50-50 thing, for example, if it's the right girl and we were on a date....don't get me wrong, I'd foot the bill, but I'd want her to at least make the offer or gesture. I also hate childish games and girls who can't just say what's on their mind.
I am not a mindreader and I deserve as much respect as you, until given a reason not be given it. I think people now, are oft too easily offended over stupid shit. So, I don't mind people who are blunt, or brutally honest. It's refreshing. I'm the LAST guy who will get offended by that sort of thing. At the same time,I don't want a girl who's so loud, she will bring nothing but drama or unwanted attention or crap to me. I seriously do not care for some hyperactive girl who always has to be doing something. My ideal woman could be just as happy sometimes, staying at home, watching TV, or just chilling and talking. Ideally, since we only have one life on this planet, I'd want her to also be bi.
GAY RIGHTS: I am completely for gay marriage. I could care less about the natural arguement at all, as they are grown adults who are hurting noone, except "good, decent godfearing folks" feelings. I think the only thing bad is the ones who engage in unprotected sex and then are dishonest with partners. The DL bisexual thing I think is wrong, as I find all cheating wrong. BUT, straight people are just as guilty in this modern oversexed society.
Most of the people against gay rights for religious reasons have very selective reasoning. The book of Leviticus that some quote to attack homosexuality (Leviticus 20:13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.) also prescribes the same "punishment" for anyone that kills another individual (Leviticus 24:17 "And he that killeth any man shall surely be put to death."), so they'd have to say the same thing about many soldiers, along those lines. And everyone knows the ones about eating shellfish and the wearing of polycotton blends being "abominations". These highstanding "moral" citizens use words like "family" and "morals" as codewords for loudmouthed hatred, when Jesus himself preached love. This type of faithbased "morality" has been the enemy of civil rights before, and I really see this as no different.
I am for gay marriage, as I think, corny as it may sound to some, marriage is about love. I could go get a heterosexual man-woman government sanctioned marriage right now that has nothing to do with "God". Chances are, if I marry, that will be the case. Am I "wrong" for that? Nahhh, noone cares about that. Gay people bother them. Plus, as far as marriage being a religious thing, the roots of the origin of marriage are not truly known. Many cultures and faiths, other than Christianity have had such practices through history, and there are still a number of non-Christian faiths today that support same sex marriages.
So, even if you wanted to argue that marriage is a religious thing, you could not say that is an exclusively Christian thing, or NEVER has been. I do think being born homosexual could be seen as a disorder and/or genetic mistake, like autism, or being born with both sets of sexual organs. This is being totally honest, without the influence of political correctness as a bias. BUT, like autism, many "suffering" don't see it as a disease. Either way it is a mutation. But, so are freckles. Whether or not it is seen as a disorder that should be "cured" or simply a natural form of population control is subjective. Most "compassionate conservatives" wouldn't really care if the person was "cured" or just suppressing feelings. They only selfishly care that they are not exposed to "gross" or "immoral" acts, not for the actual underlying condition of the individual who has been "saved". If some "ex-gay" has been "cured", but ends up being suicidally depressed, chances are the people who were so "concerned" with "saving" him/her will not pay enough attention or look the other way. Nothing humanitarian about it.
Truth is it is hurting nothing and, there are more important things to worry about in this day and age. I also think some of these gay pride parades are very counterproductive as they are more porn than family.
They push negative stereotypes of the gay community further. You would not see a bunch of black guys show up to the Million Man March all thugged out, "busting caps", eating fried chicken and shouting in ebonics and shouting obscenities at women. Why? Because they recognize how that kind of goes against the purpose of what they are trying to accomplish.
I am also against biphobia from the gay community and treating bisexuals like crap. Guess it goes back to the oppressed becoming the oppressor. I also am annoyed by these femmie queenie supremacist type gay guys. Bisexual does not always mean someone is gay, but doesn't realize it. "Gay" doesn't mean acting a certain way, either. I burp, I fart, I could care less about fashion or shopping. Every or anything straight or masculine is not the enemy.
RACISM AND POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: I am anti-racism, anti-discrimination and anti-poverty and oppression, but also I am anti-political correctness. I think pride in skin color is retarded, whether it's white, black, or whatever, but I see where it comes from. As long, as someone does not exhibit hatred or feelings of supremacy over another race, I have absolutely no problem with anyone claiming racial pride. I recognize things like how the black ghettos originally formed from the seeds of housing and job discrimination, and I also recognize things like racial profiling by corrupt police departments and other institutions. I work around an area known for racist white pride groups. I also recognize that the top people profitting from the drugs and arms that corrupt the ghettoes are rich white men, and that rich white men own most of the media, and are largely to blame for pushing the negative images that many black youth emulate, nowadays. I have gotten into arguements with family members over ignorant racial comments that they made, saying things I should not have said.
NOW, all of that said, I am conscious of the amount of "reverse" racism and hatred against white people, these days, and have known people who were victims of "hate crimes" by black racists. So, if you want to call me somewhat of a "white prider" for not believing that innocent white people should not take poo simply for their skin color, so be it.
Also, I think affirmative action is bullshit. If it is to be around at all, it should be to help lower income kids of ANY race that cannot afford a decent education. There are white kids who are dirtass poor, also, and some black kids who benefit from affirmative action in schooling are better off than some white kids. On the job discrimination does still go on, and I'm not naive enough to deny that, but it's often overblown, these days, by minorities and minority symphasizers who want to bleed the victim card. Not hiring someone who is less educated does not amount to racism, just common business sense. Would you want the guy operating on you to be the guy who just got the job because of his skin color, or the guy who was better suited for the job, REGARDLESS of his ethnicity? More black people just happen to be disproportionately poor, and thus cannot afford the same education. If everyone has access to decent education, affirmative action in the workplace will not be as necessary, by a LONGSHOT.
That said, my definition of "racism" has nothing to do with political correctness. I think everyone has some personal prejudices to some degree, also including MANY things other than race, but "racism" is when those petty prejudices are taken to the extremes of racial hatred or superiority. "Racism" is when those petty prejudices influence hiring decisions or courtroom outcomes or things of that nature. "Racism is when those views inspire hate crimes or systematic oppression.
However, I love racial and offensive humor. I think Chapelle's funny as hell. I also like to laugh at Lisa Lampanelli, who surprisingly gets away with a lot of racial jokes for a white comedian. I like to listen to David Allan Coe, who has been known to have racially offensive humorous lyrics, but I also listen to horrorcore rapper Esham spit "white boy" or "honkey" in every other song on an album. I listen to artists that could be called "sexist" like Eminem, but I like Lil' Kim and she talks about "playing" men and treating them like her toys. I like artists that could be considered "homophobic", like DMX, but I listen to Gangsta #### talk about raping straight homophobes in front of their wives, also. Music(/entertainment) is just music. I don't find the occasional use of ignorant words like "bitch" or "nigger" to automatically make one "sexist" or "racist", or whatever. Some words are more accepted than others. For example, noone cares about "whiteboy", even if it's delivered in just as disrespectful a tone as "nigger" often is. I think everyone uses words that will offend someone. So, certain words themselves may be ignorant sounding words, and I don't use them, much personally, but I also don't mind the use of such words if I know the person using them is not truly a hateful bigot, but just joking or speaking out of anger or something similar.
ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: OK, long one here. I am against the idea of illegal immigration, and doing things with no semblance of order or documentation. People all over the world want to come to the United States. We can't take everyone in the free world. There are plenty of countries WAY worse off than Mexico, and the entire "xenophobic" or "racist" arguement is beside the point. Yes, you know how those who are bigots are going to feel, but I still think that the pro-illegals' arguement is mainly an emotional one.
It's not just white people that are anti-illegal. White, black, and legal immigrants and 2nd or more gens also oppose this. What about Latino Americans for Immigration Reform (LAIR)? Are they "racist" against people of their own ethnicity or is this just politically correct liberal crap? What about Hispanic-American cultural icon, Caesar Chavez? When alive, he was against illegal immigration, though many don't want to acknowledge that. Thousands come here legally from Mexico, every year.
I had good friends in the military who were of Hispanic descent. Some favorite entertainers are Hispanic, like the late pro-wrestler Eddy Guerrero and "homothug" rapper Deadlee. I'm no conservative by a longshot, but the liberal side is no better on some issues, like this one. They just replace religious nationalism with selectively inclusive ideals of political correctness and being so deafly afraid of offending certain groups. Like how many on the pro-illegal side abuse the term "anti-immigrant" and continue to ignore how often the opposition has said REPEATEDLY that they have no problem with LEGAL migrants of any race, and are against illegal immigration from any race. It's like a two year old with their fingers in their ears going "lalalalala". Ignoring the such a large part of the opposition's arguement by continually and falsely saying "anti-immigrant" this and that only hurts the liberal sides cred in many eyes.
That said, I don't think we should be saying that there wouldn't be so much illegal immigration if legal immigration were easier, like many are saying. We should be asking why are so many willing to risk life and limb to escape their situation at home? Not making it easier for them to run away.
#1. The language barrier. When 99% of all businesses in a nation dealing with customer relations speak ONE primary shared language, newcomers who are seeking active employment should have to know at least the basics. That goes for any immigrant to any country. (PS: I'm all for teaching our children to be multilingual, but the only reason we see so many "English or Spanish" options is to cater to the illegal Mexican aliens. Why don't we see language options for other groups with a better track record and lower illegal percentage? If they want to SNEAK in to a mostly English speaking country to work around mostly English speaking workers at a mostly English speaking place of employment, the very least that they could do is learn some of the basics. THAT is why I think these language options are a bad idea.)
#2. Social security fraud. Everyone knows the deal with the hospitals being forced to close down. They should have to pay all the same taxes as anyone else. Period.
There's a reason immigration and people in general must be documented. I personally don't blame the illegals or have any kind of animosity towards the humble ones for doing what I might do in their shoes. I think the protesters and La Raza groups are trash. How can you really complain about health care issues when you knowingly SNUCK into the country and had things better than citizens in the first place? So, that's taken away, and they can't afford health care. JOIN the crowd. Citizens should receive it before them, anyway, but many of us are suffering also.
What right do illegal aliens have to complain when citizens, including legal immigrants, also are not able to afford health care? I'm not saying that there is an easy answer for all parties, and something needs to be done about the poverty in Mexico, but I don't agree that just letting illegal immigration continue as is, is an answer. It just screws us. The pro-illegal side just wants to do nothing, it seems like. They're more interested in calling people "racist". I def don't agree with that.
OTHER: I am for the right to bare arms, as making guns illegal does not mean getting rid of guns. It just means that criminals with no respect for the law will have them, and we the ordinary citizens will be defenseless.
I am against the Patriot Act and invasion of our privacy, as I don't feel comfortable with government agencies deeming who is a "terrorist" suspect and whose privacy is alright to invade.
I am for eating meat, as I think it's part of our nature, BUT I am completely against inhumane methods of execution for livestock, and I am totally against inhumane living conditions for livestock and animal cruelty of any kind.
I am for capital punishment for murderers, and life without possibility of parole for sex offenders (many of whom CAN'T be rehabbed and are let out, to repeat the same behavior, because of some optimistic liberal bullshit). We have to be tough on laws like this, so people will take them seriously. IF death penalty is not passed, I still think LIFE does not mean 10-15 years for the LIFE they took. It's not exactly fair and balanced.
I believe in not being afraid to explore anything because of labels or roles associated with gender, race, sexual orientation, or whatever.
I'm anti-war, unless it's necessary.
I hate the way society is always in so much of a rush, even when it's not necessary. We are taught to just exist, rather than LIVE, and stress over stupid shit.
I hate people who are too lazy to clean up their own mess, even if it takes all of one second to bend down and pick something up or flush a toilet.
I love Mexican and Italian food, and traditional American breakfast foods.
I think that although every stereotype has some roots in reality, too many place faith in stereotypes of groups to which they do not belong. I love music and movies that are "different" and challenge stereotypes, like a gay action movie or black person in a metal band.
I hate double standards, as I feel like they are the most annoying trademark of an ignorant mind.
I want to learn how to play electronic keyboard. I was inspired by artists like Guns N Roses, Prince, and Nine Inch Nails.
I love pro wrestling. Yes, like 99% of fans, I know it is staged. Like theatre, but they are awesome atheletes, irregardless. Bret Hart kinda got me into wrestling with the idea of a cool smaller guy who was actually a legitimate (high school collegiate) "wrestler" from a big name wrestling family and background outspeeding and outtechniquing all these bigger guys. And looking so cool doing it. Other all-time faves: Raven, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, The Rock, Eddy Guerrero, Ric Flair, and the old REAL ECW. (PS: Vince McMahon and this new "ECW" blow serious chunks---Ring of Honor is the best thing going today)
I never really got football, as I never played it, and every time I watched, there seems to be more whistles and flags than actual action, and I never bothered to try and understand the rules. I was on the high school wrestling team way back when, but that's the only sport I ever played. I want to learn submission fighting eventually. I like the idea of being able to defend myself or take someone out clean and quiet with no blood or striking. I'm not big on the idea of violence or hurting people, unless it's necessary.
If I have to go to a club, I prefer either a small redneck bar in a cool location, a gay bar, or a strip club.
I love scifi and horror movies and "stupid" comedy. And I love all types of music, heavy metal, classic rock, rap, country, blues, etc.
I also want to eventually learn to be more multilingual, starting with Spanish, then German.
I also think "wiggers" are scum. By "wiggers", I do not mean just any white people that listen to rap, but suburban white assholes who listen to nothing but rap, treat women like shit, and walk around acting like general idiotic egocentric close-minded loud pieces of shit. The same kids who would not last one minute in a real ghetto. I hate posers in general, not just wiggers, but there just seems to be a lot of them now, due to the popularity of commercial rap and MTV.
Basically, I'm cool with anyone that's cool with me and can have a conversation without being offended.
