Been to the psych again. F*inggreat.
My mom wonders why I feel as I do. She says it like she can't possibly fathom my reasoning. Is it me or am I just blowing hot air? Do you all think my life is... idk, good? Happy?
She also wonders why I feel guilty. She then proceeds to go on a rant about how she'd be if I was gone. As if she didn't hold my soul in limbo? I'm only alive because...
Why can't I talk serious with her? Because she breaks down like that every time. Why am I mad? Because she doesn't try to get it? She just goes back to old bs about not trying and if I get off my computer I'll be better and I need to stop caring what people think and blah ######## blah. It doesn't help that she's got to try pulling away any distractions I'm trying to do so I have to be forced to listen to this bullshit.
I have to go for a sort of ADD test now. And more Effexor. And she says stimulants are a last resort. Unfortunately she'll be away for some wees...
My sister has to go in too because of her boyfriend... or should I say ex? He said some stupid things that I'd probably say and mean (like, oh you deserve better than an ass), though it sounds like a cop-out. She's dumb because she attaches to this one guy and nothing else exists. The world revolves around that relationship. I get so sick of it. That's her problem, she's got attacment issues. She reminds me of a borderline.
Went to the baseball game and had great seats on the third base line. Of course, she only blew that much money to see Omar. Brings back memories of better times.
Of course they lost.
Of course the last time I remember being there was with (for a lack of a better term) The Dumb Broad.
