To fake it is to stand guard over emptiness
- Arthur Herzog
I just read this quote today. It startled me, made me go over some thoughts I've had recently. How many times did I see how I acted around people as something trying to fake it, trying to copy the movements of the humans around me? I don't feel human. How are you, I'm fine, What's your name, Nice to Meet You. They're programmed into me. Then, when I have to make conversation, it's mechanical. I feel like I'm holding everything in. I want to say something, but the doors have been closed for so long that I can't get them open. I'm afraid I'll never get out of this place, stop being stuck. I want to let out some of the pent up energy that I know is in there. I used to spin until I was dizzy and leap for no reason. What happened to that?
