My mother is being even more bitchy and paranoid than usual... I can't do anything unless she thinks I'm emailing someone something negative about her! I can't read because she says I'm not being social enough. I can't play online games because she thinks they ruin computers. About the only activities I have been able to enjoy the past few weeks are playing with my daughter and working on the lawn once a week.
I thought with my sister visiting that maybe my mother would give me a break or that I would atleast have a witness to her craziness,but it isn't working out that way.
I am no longer allowed to use my mothers vehicle because adding me to her insurance raised it ten dollars,but she won't let me pay it either...it's just an excuse to keep tabs on me continuously...just like when I was a teenager! I just don't understand why she treats me this way. I have never gotten in trouble or done anything illegal,not even a speeding ticket. I'm not the partying kind because of the sad. For some reason though she always acts like I am some kind of criminal. The only thing I have done with a questionable outcome was getting pregnant. However I am almost 25,I was living with her father for over two years,and we were engaged,so really it isn't reason to punish me for it!!!!
I'm running out of money!I have applied everywhere and there isn't a single place that is hiring. There was a factory that was considering since I have experience with some of the work,but there were fifteen others applying and I haven't heard anything in a week!!! I keep hoping and praying that I recieve my insentive tax return but I still haven't. I looked up the number to call for information but my mother went crazy when she saw me about to call,she keeps saying I don't qualify,which is a lie! I think I have already recieved it and the 817c# signed my name over to herself and she put it in the bank,it wouldnt be the forst time she's ####### me over.
I wish all of my anxieties would just disappear so I could be independent and get the hell away from my mother. I am so greatful for letting me live here with them,and for helping me take care of my daughter,but I can only take so much. It's getting to the point that I am questioning which is worse,being completely alone with a baby to take care of or living under my mothers roof. Then I realize that I can't afford to be on my own,I am in a strange new place, being alone all too often leads to panic attacks and depression, I don't want my daughter to have to go to day care while she is so young. All of the negatives of moving out are longer on the list than positives especially for my child. Looks like once again I have to suck it up and move on.
