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Baby Steps
Posted On 05/08/2008 08:32:26 by spring37

This social anxiety crap stinks!  Excuse my language.  Tongue out  

I want to go out, do things, have fun, make friends, date, etc, but I can't.  My fear of trying and failing is ridiculously high.  I know that it is supposed to be some left over feeling from the caveman days: fight or flight.  It today's modern social world, I am probably not going to die if someone doesn't want to be my friend or go out.  It is much "safer" to just work then come home.  I think that I have so many bad life experiences that I don't have the normal bounce back that most people do.  I wish there was a way to dial down my extra sensitive genes, so that I have normal reactions.  Maybe that is why many people drink alcohol to get courage up.

I am hoping that I will get tired of being alone all the time, and just start being social & less afraid of failure.  Probably not a very good plan though.    I'll try to do some small baby steps.  Last Friday, I went out for lunch with a couple people from work.  We played pool for a bit and I had fun.  Maybe, I will go again if asked tomorrow. The fear of going though is strong and illogical.  I'm not sure what the record is for someone being alone, but I could probably break it.  It is amazing how much time that someone can spend alone and not go crazy!  OK, you'll just have to take my word on that last one.    Hopefully, I lay a few good bunts down (baseball season) and try not to get beaned by the fast ball.



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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: trueshy
05/11/2008 05:42:35
I know the feeling all too well of being alone. It gets so frustrating and depressing. However, it is good to celebrate the victories. It is easy to forget to pause and applaud yourself. Let's do that now...

Yay, for the small steps! :) I am glad you went out to lunch and had fun--despite the fear. Way to go, John! :)


From: ASheyeGeye
05/09/2008 02:24:23
Social Anxiety is a condition of irrational fear.  It's too bad our common sense can't override it so easily.  Your approach is good though, baby steps to start out, the more you go out the more you confidence should grow (hopefully).  I think I've reached the point where I'm tired of being alone, hence my joining here, trying to straighten out my schedule, going for walks every day.  I'm going with the baby step approach as well.


From: millenniumman75
05/08/2008 11:08:07

I got tired of it.  I recently lost my only true friend at work two weeks ago (he passed away and we were about the same age).  After losing my dad 15 months prior, it's like I have been spiritually kicked in the pants once again .  All of a sudden, I am not as scared to try being social.  Amnd, I am fighting to care less about all the mean people, too.  People at work are responding; they know that I really got along with the guy we lost.

I think you will hit a double soon



From: TAMPABAY
05/08/2008 10:06:28

Wow I can relate to the alone thing but I also think theres a diffrence betweent being alone and being lonely.

What keeps me going is to get into the mind set that no condition is permenant.

Also many people are sourrounded by groups of people but are still lonely. Look at the stars on tv.

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