I have never written a blog before or considered writing one (after all, who cares about MY life?), but I just got through posting a message on the forum that I thought was very blog-ish, so I decided to go ahead and make a blog entry out of it, just for the hell of it.

So here it is.  

I went to Guitar Center today to bring in my guitar for repairs... this is something I had been avoiding for months and months, because of the interaction required. I've been getting back into playing my acoustic guitar and writing songs lately, and I really wanted to get the electric one fixed, so I forced myself to bring it in today.

The experience was just as excruciating as I imagined it would be. First I had to bring the guitar to the repair guy in a small room. There was already someone there talking to him so I had to wait, which was awkward. I didn't know where to stand, or where to look.

Then when he got to me, I showed him the guitar and explained, with much difficulty and stumbling over my words, what was wrong with it. He wrote down a list of the parts I needed which I had to bring to another guy in the parts section. When I found him my mind went blank and I stood there in silence for 10 seconds before finally managing to say, "I need some parts for repairs... I got this from the other guy ".

The parts guy clearly saw something was wrong as he gave me a strange look. He was waiting on other people so I to wait while he got all the parts in between helping them. That's one of the things I hate most... just standing at a counter waiting for someone to serve you. I never know if I should look straight ahead at the wall behind the counter (even though no one is there) or turn around and look at stuff in the store. Thankfully they had the Led Zeppelin DVD playing on a TV so I was watching that.

But then other customers started coming up and they saw me just standing there and people kept asking if I was in line. I just kept saying, "I'm all set." I felt terribly out of place and just wanted to get out of there. The parts guy was helping someone else and said to me (in kind of an annoyed tone) "I'm looking for your parts." I took that to mean that it was going to take awhile and that I shouldn't be standing there so I found a bench where people test out guitars and sat down. I felt better there since I didn't feel like the center of attention.

The guy eventually came back with the parts and got to helping me. He had to put my information into the computer. This went ok (at least I remembered my name, phone number and address). Then he started making small talk and mentioned that he had a guitar like mine and showed it to me. He said, "I love Les Pauls, they sound great." All I could muster was "yeah." He was nice, but I kind of felt like he was talking down to me because of my social ineptitude (for all I know I might come across as slightly mentally challenged). My guitar is an Epiphone which is a cheap version of a Gibson, which is what he had. Him saying he has a guitar like mine just seemed patronizing. Like I wouldn't know the difference.

Anyway, I followed him back to the repair guy and he gave him the guitar and parts, but then they started talking to each other. The repair guy showed him a strange guitar he got with a mirror finish and they were joking about it. This made me uncomfortable as I didn't know what to say. I had to fake a smile and laugh even though I wasn't feeling anything. I eventually got my invoice, thanked them for the help and finally left. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

So the whole thing was a really bad experience (like I imagined it would be), but at least I am finally getting the guitar fixed. Having severe SA really sucks, I feel l like I am so alone. I hate not being able to be myself around people... having nothing to offer, having no personality, and feeling like a non-person.

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