Because of my social anxiety, depression and various other reasons I'm not going to get into I've spent the past 10 years of my life without a friend in the world.
Recently it's become more and more difficult to tolerate this lonely existence. I say "existence" because it's not a "life" as such I haven't had what you'd call a life in a while now. I just go by day to day simply existing not living, continuing to exist because it's expected of me, because apparently some people still want me to be here on this earth.
I lost the most important person to me in my life last year.. I was cruelly betrayed, abandoned and left for dead after showing her nothing but love, kindness and compassion during our time together. The affect of that almost caused me to take my own life. I haven't been the same since. I've been plunged back into a meaningless existence which often feels as if it holds no hope at all for me. Will I ever find anyone else that will allow me to escape this isolation? Will I ever find anyone else who will love me and want to be with me despite my flaws?
In my darkest moments I fear the answer to those questions is no and I will always be trapped in this lonely existence until one day I can tolerate it no more. 
