I really feel like writing, but then I be all like “I don’t know how to write! And what the heck and why should I do that!” and whatnot. But I am forcing myself to write for at least a few minutes at this moment. Perhaps I should make this a regular thing so that I may become more comfortable with the idea of just writing. I somehow seem to feel that some great difficult transition must take place between living and writing. As though I couldn’t just open up this window and start typing, I must mentally prepare somehow. And I don’t mean in the sense of prewriting or brainstorming, not that kind of mental preparation. More like the kind of mental preparation I participate in just before greeting someone, or joining in on a group conversation, or making/answering a phone call; essentially before doing anything that causes me anxiety, anything that I’m afraid of.
So I therefore must come to the conclusion that I am... afraid of writing? Now why would that be the case? Maybe I am too afraid of making things “official”. Thoughts are not left open to interpretation as so much are words. And thoughts in my head – most of the time – are rather complete, unlike how their “worded” counter-part may turn out. My true thoughts, feelings, expressions may get lost in translation and then I risk miscommunicating my true self and inaccurately conveying how I feel!
At this moment, I feel obligated to remind myself of this phrase:
“The best you can do is say what you’re going to say and hope that the world doesn’t horribly misinterpret it, as it seems to have a knack for.”
Well, if this phrase isn't an Atom Bomb! But would the world really be at fault for misinterpreting my message? Or would it be me for not conveying my message in a fully accurate manner? Perhaps we both would be responsible. Maybe it is my responsibility to communicate myself to the best of my ability (or to the best of my wishes) and it is the world's fault if it puts too much stock into my statement – which is absolutely and unarguably a fully subjective one – and considers it to be a 100% accurate reflection of myself! The world would be at fault for not considering the possibility that some bungling may occur to my intended message as it undergoes the transition from the cognitive to the definitive.
O, daft meaningful exchange! How puzzling thou art!
