so things aren't going so well lately, and i wish i knew what to do. I'm trying so hard and doing all that i can to get better and move past this stage in my life but it's so hard. I get so stressed and have panic attacks about the simplest things which make me hate myself even more. why does this happen to us? why do we have to carry all of this pain and fear? it makes no sense...i can only cling to the belief that it is part of a much greater plan, that there is goodness and life coming for each of us and this is just something we must go through on the way.
I have severe social anxiety, and it affects me everyday. Are you guys lonely too? Its so hard to be with people because im always worried about their judgement of me, but its hard to be alone because i know i've failed... can anyone relate?
i think its the fact that all my friends are coming back from univeristy this week for the holiday that is compouding my stress level, because I am so different from them. i wish i could have the opportunites that they can, i only pray that those will happen for me too. i feel so isolated and different from them all and its very painful and lonely. I wish none of us had to go through this, but i know it's making us strong.
