How do I move on, I don't understand. I don't know what to do exactly. My friends on here have been so kind in offering support, but I don't want to burden anyone with my excessive negativity. I'm just not sure how to go on from here. It's been hard this whole week to think of a reason to live. He was a part of my life for five years, maybe that's not that big of a deal but it is still a quarter of my life thus far.. I just don't get what I'm supposed to do now, what is it that is expected of me. I was thinking if I got into university, at least maybe I'd have a chance to make a friend here, it might've been a nice distraction. Go see movies or concerts together and I miss laughing with someone.
I like the feeling of really bonding with someone, where I open my heart to them and they open their heart to me, I think that's one of my favourite feelings. Anyway, one day at a time, right?:) I guess. I'm pretty certain this is going to be a long recovery for me, I can't envision myself looking for love again in the near or distant future. In a way, I guess you could say I've been disillusioned, I wanted to believe in a love that lasts forever, where even when the couple is old and wrinkly, they still feel so much love and hold hands and take care of each other. I hope it still exists, even if it didn't work out for me. All the same, maybe reality is never the way it feels. Maybe there's often always reasons to feel happy and even rejoice in life. Maybe it's all in my head, just all in my head.
