I finally made an appointment to see a shrink today. I start next Tuesday. I haven't been in therapy in over 10 years and I've taken meds off and on since I was 18 to cope with depression. I'm pretty sure SA is the root of the depression. What a relief to finally make that connection. I'm frustrated that it took me THIS long to figure it out. It's not like I didn't explain some of these feelings to other therapists before, but they just didn't "get it", I guess. I have to wonder how long it's been an actual "diagnosis". Anyway, I lied to someone this weekend to get out of going to a party. I wish I didn't feel like I had to do crap like that but being honest, at this point in my life, feels worse to me than the guilt that comes from lying. I don't want to be pitied or looked at like I'm some freak, a feeling I've experience way more than i care to talk about. Okay, I need to go to bed. I just wanted to share my first step on what I hope, will not be a very long journey! I'm ready to be done with SA!
