I don't know why really, but I have just been avoiding a lot of things the past few weeks, including this site. I've been depressed or so refusing to deal with things that I was blissfully ignorant in the shelter of my mind? This is just something I do from time to time... I turn more introspective and avoid people as much as possible. I cope with things by denying their existence I guess.
I let a few disappointments/ setbacks erode my self-confidence. I have managed to get through the depression I was feeling and let my family just be the mean and spiteful people they are without getting much of a rise out of me lately at least.
I guess being told that I was a loser and my life has no meaning kind of killed whatever I had left in my heart for them. They celebrated my brother's birthday without me, and I honestly felt relieved not to be out in public listening to them talk about themselves. So instead, I cooked a nice dinner for myself and the kids and later, I had my own little party with a bottle of cabernet sauvignon.
I feel terribly and want to apologize to people who I never replied to on SAF... I feel guilty for not responding to people on here almost as much as I feel horrible about the friends I never call or whose emails I never reply to.... sorry :(
