First off, a huge thank you to everyone who posted supportive, comforting things in my last 2 blog entries and comments on my page. I would go through and thank you all individually like I used to but I'm much too scattered and tired to even begin to think about doing all that O_o You guys are great!!
This entry is another effort to help me chart how I'm feeling so I can look back and try to see a pattern. I noticed last night after getting back from grocery shopping (yeah, I went...), I felt hyper, almost manic. I wasn't tired (I usually start getting droopy eyes around 11 pm).
Also, I noticed that I was almost randomly starting projects even though I have at least 4 old ones within arm's reach right now. I tend to do this when I'm getting close to my cycle... this sort of reflects how my mind is working at the time.
I was looking at knitting patterns for fingerless gloves (I really need those when the weather gets cold...) and in my mind, I really wanted to get started on them. As usual, I couldn't decide what yarn I wanted to use, what pattern, what method of knitting I wanted to use (yes, there's more than one method...). So basically, for an hour or so, I was pawing through my yarn to find the color and type of yarn that I wanted bu then, I wanted to try using sock yarn so I went off to find that... then, I couldn't find the needles I wanted so that set me off on another search.
Then I got to thinking about making another hat and scarf set (cool weather always gets me to thinking about making new stuff...). This led to another frantic search through my stash for the perfect yarn that's been lurking in my boxes. In the end, I started the scarf, tried to start the fingerless mittens but forgot how to use double pointed needles *bangs head against wall*
Adding to that, I had promised myself that I would finish a shawl that I've had on the needles since last year. It's nearly finished, just about 6 more rows or so but I couldn't bring myself to work on it even though it's literally right in front of me (on the floor, between my feet in my project bag).
Also, something else that's sort of notable is that I really didn't get tired until nearly 3 am. This sort of alarms me since the past week or so, I'm finally on human hours (going to sleep at night and getting up in the mornings, usually before 9 am). Last night, I didn't fall asleep until about 4 am and I got up roughly around 11 am. Not good. Although, one good thing is that I haven't had to drug myself to fall asleep lately.
Usually, I have to dose myself pretty heavily with Tylenol PMs and sinus stuff (really doesn't matter which brand) to get me to the point where I'm ready to lay down. Otherwise, I'd be laying there, eyes open, tossing and turning (no small trick when you're on a couch...). **note, I sleep on my couch out of choice. My acid reflux makes it hard for me to sleep flat and no matter how many pillows I stack up on the bed to prop myself up, it's never worked for me so I stick to the couch**
Overall, I'm having trouble classifying how I feel. Most of the time, when I make a blog entry, I choose 'don't know' simply because, even with the Estroven helping to even out my moods, they're still all over the place... just not as violently. But they're still up and down and all over the place. Now, I'm really wondering what role hormones really are playing in my mood shifts.
