So this weekend was my cousin's wedding... went from being her maid of honor to not even being able to go to the wedding at all because no one wanted to watch my kids so I could go for even a little bit (since she decided at the last minute that she didn't want any kids there, which sure felt like it was to purposely exclude me from it). Oh well, I was told I didn't miss much, that it was the most bizarre wedding people had ever been to. It still hurts. My kids and I had a nice suite to stay in at the hotel, and we really did have a good time on our own though.
Yesterday morning when I took them swimming, my cousin came up behind me and put her arms around me and whispered in my ear "you know I still love you, right?". She didn't apologize to me for any of the horrible things she said to me in her emails, or for excluding me from her wedding, just said that, which was oh so comforting.
Should I feel good, considering she looked pretty miserable yesterday morning? That she was on her own because her husband drank too much and his plan was to stay in bed until the football game, then go to the bar and watch the football game and then go back to bed again, the day after they were married? When we left, she was sitting by herself in the hotel lobby checking her email, looking sooo sad. I have been told I should write her out of my life for how she has treated me, but I couldn't help but feel bad for her, leaving her there like that... I still love her even as much as she has hurt me, and I can't help but wince at the fact that she was so desperate to get married and have kids that she married someone she shouldn't have.
When we came home yesterday, we found one of our dogs very, very sick and my mother rushed him to the emergency veterinary hospital. They found he had liver and kidney failure and there was nothing they could do to improve his condition, so they put him to sleep. I am very sad, and my son is absolutely heartbroken. We adopted this dog from the ASPCA a few years ago, and my brother took ownership of him when we had moved to Buffalo. He was an older dog, a coon hound, but when I saw him I just couldn't leave him there. He looked up at me, so longingly. He looked so sad, which is why I assume they named him Blue. He was very mellow at first, but as he became comfortable with our family, he became a very boisterous, lively, playful dog and he was a lot of fun. I knew he had some health problems, but none of us realized he was as sick as he was, and so this really seemed to come out of nowhere. My son cried so hard last night and kept waking up during the night. He said he felt like he was going to throw up this morning, so I kept him home from school, though I was really hoping he would go and get his mind off of it :(
Miss you Blue
