...but I thought now might be a good time to write one. Kori writes a lot more on SAS and Friends than I do. I mostly just lurk. It really is a strange setup...sometimes we can't just tell each other stuff and we gotta do it indirectly through a post or a blog entry.
So yea i guess kori and i are not gfs for the time being o_O It's hard to get used to :( Though I'm glad kori's going to work on herself...only good can come out of that, I want her to be happy :)
As for me...I've got issues too, mostly about opening up to people. And you know...actually talking enough 
i never really coped with being the sensitive/loser/shy kid well. I had to harden myself so people couldn't hurt me. And I had to be extremely careful not to give too much away lest it cause conflict--which I absolutely hate. And it worked sorta--it made me feel a little more in control and I was thankful that I could go to school and not worry about bursting into tears over some little thing. I'm not describing this so well, hard to see how those two things are related but they are. It still came with a heavy cost...a giant preoccupation with myself, a tendency to withdraw from friends and family, and extreme difficulty with expressing myself and showing emotion.
But anyway...I didn't intend to get into that--it doesn't matter really. Basically I want to be able to be the type of person who's not afraid to have opinions about things, and gets stuff off her chest, and can empathize better. Trouble is...I didn't exactly put myself in a good position to improve. Tomorrow I'm going to tell my therapist I'm not seeing him anymore. I haven't been liking where our sessions have been going. Plus, I've been lying to him about taking my meds these past few months. Maybe I should look for another one...shop around a bit. Though I'm afraid I just wouldn't put in enough effort again. Maybe best to wait a bit. I'll see. I also quit my volunteer position at the hospital. I don't know yet where I'm gonna get my socializing in...I thought maybe I'd try to check up on friends and peeps from the internet I haven't talked to in awhile though I feel bad because I ignored them for so long and now that I'm going through a bad time I need them again.
