So, yeah, this is my first blog that I've actually decided to write. Yay.
But umm, any who, lately I've been feeling extremely down and anxious about everything. It's really pissing me off because I've never had it this bad before. I don't want to take anymore happy pills because I hate the fact that a medicine is controlling my mood and that it's really not me most of the time. I just don't like it at all. So I've been off meds for about 3 months now, I didn't notice much until this past week where everything is just making me worry, anxious, annoyed, and depressed.
I was fired from my job..my first job within..3 days. Awesome, go me. Just because I wasn't smiling like a dumbass the whole time. But whatever, I guess Ill just need to find a job that doesn't require me to act like someone I'm not. I really hate having to smile to a customer when I'm really not meaning it. It just feels wrong.
Somedays..well not really somedays more like some hours of the day I feel great, then others everything seems to suck and seem pathetic and pointless. Maybe it's because I'm still a teen and I'm going through mood swings still...I dunno. I just wish my mood was f'ing consistent for once in a while and meds didn't help with that much at all.
Eh, I should stop typing I guess this blog is more for me to read and keep track of the way my moods are flying around and try and notice a pattern or something. 'Cause I know it's extremely boring to read blogs and I doubt anyone cares enough to read this worthless blog of mine to begin with. I like the type of person I am, but somedays I just wish I could be a sheep like most teens and not think about anything other then whats going on my little world. If that makes sense. Probably doesn't but oh well.
