For the past week I think I have managed to wake up before noon! Wow. But now it is slowly happening again....I'm staying up later...getting up later....ahhhhhhhhhh. Why can't I just GO TO SLEEP at midnight always, or atleast get off of the computer then.

It's cold and it's probably going to snow later sometime.

My sister is coming home....that will be weird. She has been gone in a different state for 6 months, and just now she's coming back because she can't find a job and she... Read More

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I've been at the same job for over a year now and around the same group of people too. Yet everyday I am still too nervous to talk to them beyond a simple hello (courtesies). It's the same thing with my boss too, I am courteous to him but I can't really develop a repetoire that other people on my team have been able to.

I have a very insular job which mainly relates to reading/replying to e-mail and handling correspondences so most of my communication is through online. Yet... Read More

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Well I made it to the class I wanted to go to! It went better than I had expected. At first, while trying to find the door and the place to meet, I was getting shaky, but then I was okay. Meeting them at first went okay. Then during the class I felt a bit calm, and I didn't really think about people looking at me. So that was good. I ended up having to introduce myself, but that wasn't too bad, even though I didn't really like it. Atleast one other person went before me. I just said "Uh my na... Read More

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16 hours from now I may or may not be at a church. OMG. Ok...so, if I don't feel sick, I'm going to try to go to this class. MY FIRST TIME ALONE SOMEWHERE O_O I hope I make it. Before I go...I'm going to try to not focus on bad thoughts and maybe breathe deeply. I still have the feeling that I'm not going to go though. So, the next blog entry of mine, may or may not be about how it all went. It's hard not to think of bad stuff though, but I'm going to try.

I will make it. I will not c... Read More

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These are some what ifs about going to the rcia class if I do....

What if I can't handle all those people? What if someone is there I know or knew of? What if I can't handle seeing the bus driver again? Is riding the bus safe? What if I cant find where to meet or what if once Im there I cant walk in? What if its a bit crowded and Im not alone at first? What if Im the first one there? What if I cant go? What if Im so hungry? What if my nose is too stuffy? What if everyone else is so... Read More

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